My Real-Life Hail Mary

I’ve been sitting here trying to think of a way to frame this post, and I can’t do it. Instead of trying to come up with an angle or re-telling my entire “cancer story” for the 500th time, I’m just going to say what I want to say.
 
Early last week I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. The prognosis is not good, but I’m going to fight like hell to try and beat it.
 
At first, I wasn’t in much of a fighting mood. Thinking about my 2-year-old son growing up without a father and my pregnant wife having to raise our family without me was devastating. It put me in an emotional black hole that I thought was impossible to claw my way out of.
 
I was discharged from the hospital on Thursday, about 5 hours before the Packers-Lions game kicked off. Despite my state, I wanted to watch the game. My wife, who is my rock and my everything, and I never miss watching Packers games together and we weren’t going to start that night.
 
Before continuing, let me get back to the emotional black hole I mentioned earlier. I wouldn’t wish falling into that black hole on my worst enemy. It’s an awful place. Not only did being in that black hole turn me into a sobbing, emotional, uncontrollable mess, it made me incredibly bitter.
 
After my initial diagnosis on Tuesday, I was wheeled on a hospital bed from the emergency room to a permanent room. Every person I saw along the way – from smiling nurses to families on their way to visit loved ones – I wanted to bludgeon with a hammer.
 
Why do they get to be healthy? Why can’t they be on this bed instead of me? Don’t they know my wife and I were just told that I have cancer? Quit fucking smiling. Don’t look at me. Get lost and go away.
 
That attitude continued into the next day. There was also a lot of crying. Check that, it wasn’t crying. It was all out blubbering. Just a flood of tears and a category five hurricane of emotions.
 
Then it got worse. Way worse.
 
On Wednesday, an oncologist informed us that my cancer had spread beyond my colon into my abdomen and lymph nodes. The prognosis was bleak. My wife looked at the guy and said we have a 2 year old at home and another due in early May. Can’t you tell us something hopeful?
 
He said he was sorry. I wanted to stab him with the I.V. needle that was stuck in my arm. I hated not only him, but every healthy person in the entire world. This is bullshit. Why me and not someone else?
 
Bitterness. Unimaginable bitterness. On top of the sadness, agony, worry, anxiety, depression and everything else, bitterness had not just crept in, it had taken over my mindset.
 
I pleaded with my wife to, among other things, help me get over this bitterness. It felt unhealthier than the actual cancer. My wife was a wreck herself, but because she’s the best, she started doing what she could. Seeing my parents and my pastor later on Wednesday night also helped start the process of ridding my thoughts of bitterness.  
 
Fast forward to Thursday. Before kickoff, my wife set up a Caring Bridge page so others could follow my fight. I also mentioned my diagnosis on Facebook and Twitter.
 
By this time, I had seen my son for the first time as a dad with cancer. My in-laws were also at my house to help and my parents had just went home. Having my wife, parents and in-laws either with me or helping out back home during this whole mess was the first big step in ridding myself of this God-awful bitterness.
 
Getting my son out of his crib after he woke up from his nap also worked wonders.
 
Progress was being made. I was still an absolute wreck, but the giant cloud of bitterness was starting to break. Instead of being mad at other people for no good reason, I could at least start to focus my energy on the long journey ahead.
 
As we sat down to watch the Packers-Lions game, I opened my phone to see if anybody had commented on my “announcement.” A lot of people had. A whole lot of people. I really didn’t pay much attention to the game because 1) the Packers were playing awful and 2) I couldn’t keep up with all the well-wishers on Twitter, Facebook and Caring Bridge.
 
We’ve all wished someone well on social media who’s shared bad news, whether it’s health related or not. Sometimes we send prayers, sometimes a word or two of encouragement. We might not think much about it after we type the words and hit send.
 
Let me tell you something: They help. A lot. Really, they do. Each and every message, even if it’s the standard “sending thoughts and prayers” or “you can beat this.”
 
The love and support of my wife and family had already helped me make great strides in ridding my mind of the bitterness. The outpouring of support from social media – from both people I knew in real life and people that I’ve never met – also helped.
 
I was still stuck way, way, way deep in that emotional black hole, but my wife, my family, my friends, returning home and the social media outpouring had started me on the journey to try and get out of it. Yes, believe it or not, social media can be a good thing. Hearing encouraging words from strangers or people you haven’t seen in a long time is a great cure for excessive bitterness (not to mention an overall morale booster).
 
Then Aaron Rodgers hit Richard Rodgers on a Hail Mary to get the Packers an improbable win. When Richard Rodgers caught the ball, I yelled like a little school girl, “He caught it! He actually caught it!” Then some weird giggling sound came out of my mouth.
 
My wife looked at me and said, “That’s the first time you’ve smiled since this started.”
 
Yup, I was smiling. It didn’t last long, but it was a smile. I didn’t think smiling would ever be possible again. The Rodgers-to-Rodgers Hail Mary made me forget about having cancer for like two seconds. In my state, those two seconds felt like an eternity.
 
Another step in the right direction.
 
Obviously, a football game isn’t going to make me better. Neither are notes of support on social media, no matter how many there are. But combined with the efforts of my rock star wife, an incredibly loving family and ready-to-take-action friends, it’s a small piece of the complicated puzzle that, when finally together, will have me ready to fight like hell.
 
Fast forward to today. I’m still stuck in my black hole, but I can actually see a light above me as I continue to claw my way upward. Once I’m out of this hole, the fight begins.
 
And I will get out of this hole. The bitterness is gone. The depression, the worry, the anxiety and a whole bunch of other stuff is still there but my wife, family and friends are continuing to push me toward that opening above me that I can now actually see.
 
Get this: My 2 year old tinkled in his potty for the first time on Saturday night! He sat down, ripped a fart, then tinkled a few drops. If that’s not a pick-me-up, I don’t know what is.
 
This post has already gone on way longer than it should have, so I’m going to wrap things up. I wish I had some creative way to tie together all the random thoughts I just laid out, but I don’t. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to wrap up situations like this in a neat little bow.
 
I’m not sure how often I’ll be posting in the coming weeks and months. If you’d like to follow along as I begin this fight, check out my Caring Bridge page or find me on Twitter.
 
Any and all support is appreciated, especially from the CheeseheadTV community. I need all the help I can get to emerge from this black hole and fight, fight, fight.
 
Editor's Note: If you would like to keep abreast of Adam's upcoming battle, the best thing to do is check his Caring Bridge page. You just have to create a login, nothing more. Alternatively, you can also follow him on twitter at @adamczech
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Comments (74)

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marpag1's picture

December 07, 2015 at 09:56 am

Get better, bud. Like the Hail Mary, it ain't over till it's over.

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EdsLaces's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:07 am

Keep the faith. Keep your son close by ...there is no better medicine than my little guy when I'm not feeling well. Thoughts and prayers to you.

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johhoc5's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:08 am

Beautifully written. So sorry to hear the news. Don't give up. Look at Jimmy Carter, looks like he beat cancer at his age, if he can do it, you can to.

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MarkinMadison's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:23 am

Sorry this happened to you Adam. When you feel in the mood please keep posting Packers stories, or whatever you feel like writing. I enjoy reading your stuff.

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Razer's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:25 am

I never met you Adam but I care and pray for you. As the Packers taught us, there is always hope - keep the faith. Thanks for sharing.

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RCPackerFan's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:29 am

Really wishing you the best of luck!

Just like Marpag1 said that just like in the Packers latest victory it isn't over till its over. Packers pulled out the win in odds that weren't in their favor.

I saw your post before the Packers game, and after the Packers game I had you in my mind. I posted on facebook, 'The moral of the story. Never give up. There is always a chance if you never give up.' I wrote that with you in mind. I believe this to be true.

Keep your faith and fight on!

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MikeReuter's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:37 am

You'll get out of that hole eventually and when you do, give it hell.

“The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it.”
― Vince Lombardi

And just remember, even when times are tough, the Bears still suck.

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7th Rounder's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:42 am

As the Packers proved on Thursday night, even when it looks impossible there is always a chance, even when there is no time on the clock you can still win. Stay positive!

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BlueEchoes's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:49 am

Kick its ass Adam. We know you can. We are all here for ya!

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BayBlues's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:52 am

Thoughts and Prayers to you and your family.

Enjoy your love ones as much as you can and Fight for them. Fuck Cancer!

#ADAMSTRONG

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ottscay's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:58 am

Awful news on the diagnosis Adam, but very promising news that you are turning the tide of the emotional battle. Obviously that alone can't cure you, but it's a necessary step on the way to winning the war.

I wish you and your family the best!

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Jimloid1's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:09 am

Adam, awful news to hear, but keep climbing out of your black hole. We will be here to support you throughout the whole process. God bless.

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Thom Tedson's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:18 am

You've spurred me on to my first CHTV post, Adam. Your words are beautiful and your courage inspiring. Keep writing - I promise to be your biggest fan from now on and I hope that is for a very, very long time. Stay strong- we are all pulling for you.

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Bryce Hansen's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:28 am

I'll pray for God to heal you. Best wishes.

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Jay Hodgson's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:31 am

You'll beat this. Everyone is behind you sending prayers, happy thoughts, and good energy.

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porupack's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:39 am

Adam,
I was moved by this article from you. Thanks for being real honest about it all. I had to smile when you got caught up for a brief moment in the Rogers-Rogers Hail Mary. Maybe poetic that Hail Mary if it made you a kid again. Good reminder to all of us that CHTV introduces us to good people, not just blogs, and football is a nice diversion, but we all got way more important stuff we deal with....but sometimes the trivial is nice. Your 2 year old and unborn is awesome, Adam. May they unknowingly keep you going every day when you find yourself back in the black-holes. Write some when you can. Really appreciate your work, as well as other authors.

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Mariana Vitorato David's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:42 am

Tenha Fé! Tenho um filho autista e vivo minha vida pensando sempre que teremos uma amanha melhor!
Fé e força são as unicas armas que temos!

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Handsback's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:44 am

Adam,
It won't be easy, but every laugh, smile, and hope puts a dagger into your cancer. Keep your faith and fight going strong!

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Portland Mark's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:44 am

We're all talking about a Hail Mary pass so I am now continually offering Hail Marys on the beads for you!

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murphy's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:47 am

Lotta ball game left. Stay strong.

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brewers_rule's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:48 am

As trivial as talking about football seems in comparison to this (forgive me for that), I can honestly say I see a parallel here for the team. I think the Packers have fallen into that black hole you talked about until this game. Unfortunately for them, they don't seem to have an awesome wife or family support system around them to help pull them out, they have to find a way out of it themselves. You could see that through about the 3rd quarter of the game. Same zombie-like motions offensively, no energy or fire, expecting-the-same-outcomes haze over them. As a fan, I've been pessimistic about any turnaround, especially when they were down 17-0 at the end of one & MM basically gave 2 plays to Abby/Janis before returning to rolling that rock up the hill again, only to watch it fall repeatedly behind Adams/Jones.

However, as the Lions did nothing the next 2 quarters and we got the first TD on the flukey Cobb recovery, I started to see baby steps of progress to the light. R-Rod making fluid plays. Adams not looking as awful as he did before. Street RB Crockett moving the ball w/that backup OL. Not sunshine, but glimmers of hope that 17-0 was not a lot against the Lions to overcome.

Then Peppers made that fumble happen. Peppers, the guy that has been struggling recently & receiving some criticism for his lack of plays. Jake Ryan, the young ILB we've been begging to play recovers it and a few plays later Adams finally makes a big play with the TD to make it 20-14. I'm not going to say I knew we'd win it then but I can honestly say, I saw the sun through the clouds there.

As the Lions seemed to go into a shell offensively from there, leaning on the run with minimal progress, I kept thinking 'All we need is one more good drive & we win this.' Sadly, the Lions got the FG to make a it a 2 score game but I continued thinking 'Keep fighting until the clock sounds!' Then A-Rod scrambled in for the TD with 3 min to go and really started to believe we'd win it because you could see the 'uh oh' looks on the Lions' players' faces.

After the Lions made a few 1st downs & the 2 min warning passed, those dark clouds covered the light. Especially when we got it back with less than 30 seconds left. But those clouds once again lifted after the facemask penalty on the laterals. I thought 'Hey, who knows?' And we won it on the heave after the much-criticized R-Rod snatched that gift from the heavens.

Nothing about this game screamed 'problem fixed.' Nothing. But it SHOULD give Packer fans some hope that baby steps toward positivity and, possibly success, driven by that mindset is there to be had if the execution comes with it. I'm not one for speeches so all I can say, Adam, is Baby Step Your Way Toward The Light And Anything Is Possible On This Wonderful Earth Of Ours. And as I tweeted to several Packer bloggers on Twitter that night, as Elliot Ness said to Al Capone in The Untouchables: Never Stop Fighting Until The Fight Is DONE.

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Bearmeat's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:51 am

Oh my God.

Adam, I am so, so sorry. Reading this literally brought me to tears. Please know that you are on my family's prayer list.

I normally like to keep things focused on football here. But your fight is serious enough that I'm breaking that rule. Hang onto your faith. He who spurned the shame of the cross for his people will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain.

Stay strong Adam. FIGHT THIS! You've got a community of Packer fans here who are all pulling for you. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

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AndrewInAtlanta's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:59 am

Adam, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Your fighting spirit will beat this thing. You are amazing to share so much.

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AngryPackersFan's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:03 pm

Fuck Cancer.

Whoop that fucking cancer's ass Adam, like Matthews destroying a QB or Rodgers shredding a defense. You can do it.

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Tundraboy's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:06 pm

I know the black whole you speak of and my situation paled in comparison. You are an inspiration and will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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Jane Bauer's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:11 pm

You & your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Lphill's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:16 pm

Just goes to show you like I tell my son all the time that there are more important things in life to worry about besides a sports team which is for our entertainment , my best wishes for you and your family. Lou Phillips NYC

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Mojo's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:21 pm

Yeah, have had some close relatives with cancer recently plus some non-health related worries, so I know what you mean about the bitterness.

Take consolation in you're not the only one who has this. It's quite common. I heard somewhere if we didn't get some other malady first, we'd all eventually get cancer. We're mortal, so in a way we all share the same fate.

Wishing you luck in your fight going forward and to your family.

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Clay the 1st's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:21 pm

To you Adam and to all of you, this may sound odd but I would like to implore you to see the movie "Creed". Football is "real" and movies are often fiction, but both are still diversions from our real worlds, but they have the power to inspire us in our daily life.

I'll just keep it short and say PLEASE see this movie. You will understand after.

Keep fighting.

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Idiot Fan's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:25 pm

Thanks for sharing Adam, and I admire your courage and determination. Fight like hell against this horrible disease. Your hail-mary metaphor is a good reminder to you that the game isn't over until it's over; I think the rest of us would do well to be reminded of the opposite: football is just football, there are much more important things in life.

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Packer_Pete's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:36 pm

As serious as your diagnosis is, you can beat this Adam. It is mind over matter, and if you firmly believe and fight against it, you can overcome.

As others have said before, it's not over until it's over, and even then it's not totally over.

Best of luck, and keep going!

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Thegreatreynoldo's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:53 pm

Fight like hell, Adam. I really hope you beat the cancer. You have a lot of reasons to do so. Draw strength from your wife, children, loved ones, and from any other source that you can find.

Also I would love to share some thoughts with your wife: she sounds like a wonderful person. As some know, I lost my wife 2 years ago, and became a single parent. You, too, my dear, will need to draw strength from whatever sources you can find. Likely there will be times when you don't think you are helping Adam, maybe feel inadequate or unequal to the demands facing you, but you are. There is a deep well that can be accessed in knowing that you are needed.

Best wishes to both of you in your battle, and may you emerge victorious.

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croatpackfan's picture

December 07, 2015 at 12:57 pm

Adam, I do not know you. But even you (or better say, your condition!) was able to produce cow's post that actually has positive points - 5 with no dislike. If you are able to do that, cancer will not be that hard to beat for you!

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cpabandit's picture

December 07, 2015 at 01:03 pm

Adam, I do not know you though somehow I feel close to you from reading your past columns. I am sitting here crying. I am of the Jewish faith and I will include you in my prayers every Shabbat (Friday evenings). It will be tough for you, you bitterly know that. But brilliant medical clients have told me for previous situations that a patients optimism to heal is so crucial to their outcomes. Ya gotta keep the faith Adam. We all know you will kick ass!

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Dan Stodola's picture

December 07, 2015 at 01:25 pm

Adam, best wishes to you in your comeback.

As someone who has been thru life altering illness, not life threatening however, I wish you all the best. Couple things that I think might help.

1. Eat healthy and organic. Stay away from anything processed. Lots of fruits, vegetables and organic meats. No preservative, pesticides or atificial anything. Embrace health as a way of life!

2. If you haven't already find religion and pray to your God. Alot... Pray as much for your wife and kids, but not for your sake and ask your God to shrink the cancer and help give you the strength to fight it.

3. This one will seem kinda silly but it can and does work. Talk to your body. Tell your body to shink and kill the invader. Self talk is what I call it and its helped me thru difficult times and beating my illness.

4. Last but not least, exercise. Again embrace health and fitness as a lifestyle. It can give you and your body the energy you need to keep fighting. Even after chemo treatments or radiation, try to find the strength to exercise. If it seems like a mile is too far to walk, walk 2 miles. Intensity is the key to exercise. Higher intensity is always better. Sprinting is always better than jogging. Lifting weights is among the best things you can do.

Good Luck to you and your family!

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LASVEGAS-TOM's picture

December 07, 2015 at 10:11 pm

DS, It's No Secret we aren't Best Of Friends. Normally I wouldn't reply to one of your posts unless it attack me. Who ever gave you the 2 dislikes, ought to have their heads examined.LVT

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zeke's picture

December 07, 2015 at 01:25 pm

Adam: 20+ years ago I was diagnosed with lymphoma and given a shitty 5-year prognosis, and I'm still here. And certainly not because of anything I did (or deserved). For all of the advances in treatment over the years, I'm convinced that medicine is still as much an art as it is a science. If it happened for me, it can happen for anyone. You can do this.

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FITZCORE1252's picture

December 07, 2015 at 02:31 pm

Sending positive thoughts your way, Adam.

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Doug_In_Sandpoint's picture

December 07, 2015 at 02:57 pm

Adam, thanks for your work on behalf of Packer fans...we really have appreciated your posts and look forward to many many more. God in his grace has given you this platform which gives you access to all of us. Never underestimate the power of prayer of everyone who bends a knee with you in mind. Especially Packer fans who I believe already have God's ear. I personally am praying for skill and wisdom of your health care team. I am praying for strength and resilience for your wife and family. I am praying for your emotions, that you can climb out of the hole you speak of. I am praying that through this you become a blessing to many many others. I am praying for complete healing from the One who can provide it. And finally, I am praying that you be given the faith needed to see you through.

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4thand1's picture

December 07, 2015 at 03:27 pm

Family is the most import thing Adam. I have 6 kids 3 grandsons. Love and hold your son every chance you can. They have made great strides in cancer treatment, try to stay positive. 3 years ago my dad died in my arms after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I spent every minute I could with him. 2 years later my mom got diagnosed with esophageal cancer and beat it. She is still cancer free, so I know it can be beat. The news is devastating as hell, I know how I would feel. Do whatever it takes and fight the good fight. My prayers are with you, your wife, and son.

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alaskan tundra's picture

December 07, 2015 at 03:51 pm

Damn now Im blubbering. Every day is a gift with a no guarentee of the next. May every one of your days be a reminder that from well wishers to watching your sons first potty training each day is important. I hope more smiles come your way . Packer fans are the best. All the best to you and your family.
Didier Lindsey
alaskan tundra
Fan since 64

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kohlsjl21's picture

December 07, 2015 at 04:39 pm

Prayers up for you and your family

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kohlsjl21's picture

December 07, 2015 at 04:39 pm

Prayers up for you and your family

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CrispyATX's picture

December 07, 2015 at 04:46 pm

Adam, I'm a longtime lurker on this blog - and you've inspired me to my first post: your battle will be tough, long, challenging and ugly. But you can do it. I have a severely disabled daughter (13 years old now), and every day is a battle for us. But we battle. Every day. I don't know you from, well, Adam, but you have a wellspring of strength in you to draw upon to fight this. We all do - resilience! FUCK CANCER. Keep focusing on what's good, healthy and beautiful and that will help you to change your mindset. Even if it's the last thing you want to do.

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Community Guy's picture

December 07, 2015 at 04:53 pm

hey Adam. yeah... like folks have said... thank you for sharing and definitely your situation is touching. my wife and i are due next year about the same time as you. we just were brainstorming names before i read your post... Adam is now a name on our short list. be well.

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MissKathy's picture

December 07, 2015 at 06:34 pm

HEY! sending prayers and lots of KICK BUTT, ADAM cheers!

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jmac34's picture

December 07, 2015 at 06:35 pm

You can win this Adam. You just gotta believe

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ray nichkee's picture

December 07, 2015 at 06:41 pm

Adam you are truly a gifted writer. I can write something funny, rip on someone for sucking ass, or express appreciation but to be able to express your true self went it seems you've been dealt the shitiest hand is amazing. Write as much as you can. You will be an inspiration to all of us. You already are.

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Amanofthenorth's picture

December 07, 2015 at 07:25 pm

My wife listens to Abraham Hicks...and I am kind of grooving on what she says too. I saw a quote of hers yesterday that`s sticking with me:

Things work out in the end, and if they haven`t worked out, it`s not the end.

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Bohj's picture

December 07, 2015 at 07:28 pm

Incredibly brave to share your thoughts here. This many people sending positive energy to you is amazing. I have a three year old boy and one on the way as well. Totally devastated by your news. Stay positive Adam. We're all rooting for you.

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eqfan592's picture

December 07, 2015 at 07:49 pm

I'm sincerely sorry to hear this. You'll be getting a lot of unbidden advice suggesting you do every crazy thing under the sun, but the reality is that if you just hold your family close, follow your doctors advice, and fight with all you can, you'll stand your best chance at beating this.

My thoughts, and the thoughts of a lot of other people, are with you and your family.

"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

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Oppy's picture

December 07, 2015 at 08:04 pm

Adam,
I may be mistaken, but it seems like writing is therapeutic for you.

If it is, write to your wife, write to your children, write to your god(s), and write to yourself.

Positive, negative, indifferent.

Hell, if you've got the inclination, you could even write things that other people get to read, and if they do, it might be therapeutic for them as well.

I know you will fight this the best way you can, for yourself and your family.

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porupack's picture

December 08, 2015 at 09:07 am

Excellent insight Oppy.

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cheddarhead's picture

December 07, 2015 at 08:15 pm

Hope you beat this thing. And get back to Better things like family, friends, and Green Bay football. Prayers go out to you and your family.

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jeremyjjbrown's picture

December 07, 2015 at 08:42 pm

I've been reading your articles for years Adam. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I believe you can beat this, many others have overcome tough odds. Best wishes to you and your family.

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GVPacker's picture

December 07, 2015 at 09:06 pm

Stay Strong Adam and Fight The Good Fight. You have your family and friends and us, we are your other family. Were the guys who need to read all that stuff you right about The Packers. You can't and won't lose this fight cause we need you and care about you!

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adamczech's picture

December 07, 2015 at 09:11 pm

Thank you all for reading and thank you all for the kind words. Like I said in the post, they help. A lot.

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LASVEGAS-TOM's picture

December 07, 2015 at 09:30 pm

adam, You don't in any way have a Death Sentence. I had Lung surgery March 31st. Lost the upper 1/3 of my Right Lung, had a Grape Fruit size tumor removed,& 2 four inch pieces of 2 ribs. I'm still hurting rom the surgery, & currently battling pneumonia. It's been a long & hard 8 months, but my last PET Scan, & my recent chest x-ray showed that I'm Cancer Free.

They can do AMAZING things with Cancer today, so hang in there, & think Positive. That's Very Important. Even more important is having the Good Lord at your side. I'll pray for you, & you do the same. You'll come out of this ok.LVT

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Chrystal Deibel's picture

December 07, 2015 at 09:32 pm

Adam.....never ever ever give up !!!! Prayers from a Packer sister !!! Blessings to you and your family ♡

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Chrystal Deibel's picture

December 07, 2015 at 09:32 pm

Adam.....never ever ever give up !!!! Prayers from a Packer sister !!! Blessings to you and your family ♡

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TXBadger's picture

December 07, 2015 at 09:40 pm

Adam, I'm not going to try and be eloquent. I'll leave the prose to you. Just keep a positive attitude and whenever you're feeling down, hug your family members and revel in the every day wonders of watching your child grow.

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Kyle Graham's picture

December 07, 2015 at 11:01 pm

I have a toddler myself and your story makes me appreciate my time with him that much more. Thanks for being so open about this, not many people are. Prayers for you my friend. You got this!

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Phillthy's picture

December 08, 2015 at 03:42 am

You got this brudda, not a doubt in my mind. Keep up the fight, you've got a whole army behind ya, go Pack go.

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WKUPackFan's picture

December 08, 2015 at 06:14 am

Adam, love you brother. Your legacy will live on regardless of when you leave.

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Since'61's picture

December 08, 2015 at 08:53 am

Adam - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Since '61

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aaronrank's picture

December 08, 2015 at 09:02 am

Adam - we'll be thinking of you. Give 'em hell!

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Packatron's picture

December 08, 2015 at 11:08 am

Adam,
I don't know you. I'm mostly a lurker and an occasional commenter here on cheesehead. I don't have some inspirational quote. I can type some random words, but that won't really matter.

All I can give you is some advice:

Take some time to write down some thoughts for your kids to read when they're old enough. Give them a glimpse into who their dad was. Maybe take some video of yourself talking just to them. Give them some advice that you got when you were a kid growing up. Give them some positive encouragement. Tell them a story about yourself as a kid. Whatever it is, your kids will treasure this forever, and you'll be at peace knowing that you'll have some positive influence on them for years to come.

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WilsonMaywick's picture

December 08, 2015 at 03:44 pm

Adam,
Thank you. Thank you for the life perspective. What you shared here was real, raw, and human. I will think deeply about what you shared here. Live, love, and fight.

God bless

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GoldenRetriever's picture

December 08, 2015 at 09:36 pm

Never give up, never give in. You can beat this!! Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.

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BradHTX's picture

December 08, 2015 at 10:27 pm

Adam, you are truly a gifted writer. Thank you for taking the time to write such a beautifully moving post. In sharing your physical and emotional struggle with us, your readers, you've given all of us the privilege of walking through it with you, and I hope it gives you comfort to know there are hundreds of us out here who have never met you but feel like we know you and who care.

A wise man once wrote that joy shared is joy doubled, while pain shared is pain halved. Please continue to share with us as you are able to. We are with you, friend. Prayers for peace for you and your family.

Brad in Houston

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Flow49's picture

December 08, 2015 at 10:30 pm

This article was incrediblely moving I wish you and your family the best and will add you to my prayers.

I don't know if it will help but I thought I would pass along this information. If you haven't explored proton therapy yet it may be a viable option. They just recently finished a state of the art facility in Dallas.

www.texascenterforprorontherapy.com
This site should give you more information.
If it's something that could help I have more direct contact information. Please feel free to reach out of you think it could help.

Keep fighting

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cinpackback's picture

December 08, 2015 at 11:45 pm

Peace Adam.

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10 digits's picture

December 09, 2015 at 01:10 am

Aw hell, I totally thought I could write this insightful comment that would lift you out of your hole, ease your worry and unbearable heartache, connect with you in a way that would change your perspective in the face of a complete shit storm, but I'm about to fall woefully short. All I can say is I care. A lot. And as father of a 2 year old boy, in a small way I can empathize. And selfishly, I request: please keep writing.

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Lynn Dickey 12's picture

December 10, 2015 at 09:39 pm

Adam, I'm so sorry. I've always admired your work, I believe it's a reflection of your thoughtful nature. Your family will be strong for you. Keep their love close by, even when it's hard to be open to it. You are in my prayers. God bless.

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