Sunday School
The world will lose a fine Packer fan on Monday. More importantly, I will lose my friend.
The world will lose a fine Packer fan on Monday. More importantly, I will lose my friend.
I found my cat Mosaic in 1997. Naturally, she became a Packer fan at the same time. She was my first real pet as an adult. Mosaic was abandoned in the snow at what couldn't have been more than 3-weeks-old. She literally fit in the palm of my hand with plenty of room to spare. As a single male in my early twenties I don't know why I thought I needed, or even had to basic skills to care for anyone let alone myself. But, I took her home anyway.
I had to bottle feed her for several weeks. I bought a little bottle, and would go to store and pick up the "cat safe" milk and she would proceed to sit in my hand and suck that swill down with reckless abandon. With a fighting spirit the likes I have never seen, she eventually came around and has been a fixture at every single Packer game in every one of my living rooms ever since.
The odds were always stacked against her. She never grew very big, has had numerous surgeries and infections, and now is completely blind and mostly deaf. She recently decided that a trip to the litter box is no longer an option. Although she gets around, and maybe on the surface seems okay, she is most certainly just a shade of her former self. Her days are filled with confusion, darkness, and most importantly fear. She can't grasp what is going on around her and it's absolutely crushing me. The cat that used to play paper wad soccer like a feline Pele now does little more than slowly search for a ray of warm sunshine through the nearest crack in the blind.
There are very few mammals that have always been there for me. Mosaic is one of them. The unconditional love and affection (to the point of ridiculousness) has been a constant in my life for nearly 14 years. That in mind, it's no surprise that no one else likes her. And if you asked Mosaic, the feeling is mutual. She's like the Rudy of cats. I've watched her take down huge dogs, other cats, vets, friends, and numerous other creatures of the night. You can't get near her without a risk of personal harm, or at the very least moderate blood letting. Unless, for some reason, you are me. The little beast always turns little beauty when I enter the room.
Perhaps it's our common bond in fighting through the naysayers and proving wrong those that said we could never do it. Perhaps it is our affection of in-affection that has allowed us to share something so out of character. Who knows? I guess we just don't like a lot of people, but we've always loved each other.
I am so mad at god-buddha-spirits-allah-kool-aid-guy today. I thought that the man in charge was supposed to decide these things? If that is indeed the case, why did he pawn the job off on me? Why is it my responsibility to decide the quality of life for something I love? This is my friend, and I hate you for making me have to make this decision. But, it's not fair to watch her suffer or for her to bear the burden of the resentment that could follow.
I am riddled with guilt. Was I a good owner? Did I do everything in my power to give her the best life? The honest answer is probably not. She never got the best care money could buy, and we often had to scrape by with the bare essentials and minimum veterinary visits in lieu of her numerous hospitalizations. She almost died several times, and her kidney's actually shut down once for a whole day. We stayed up all night with her on her death bed, but for some reason she came around the next morning. The story of her life. Like I said, Rudy.
I'll miss her this season, and I give her credit. She has been the brunt of many pictures in Packer garb, and has quietly put up with my yelling, screaming, and cheering whenever the Packers take the field. She has been the definition of Packer fan, never once complaining about the organization. She has also dined on the remains of some of the finest Packer game day meals you will ever see flow through the fine state of Wisconsin. She was there for me when we won, and most importantly was there for me when we lost.
Yet, more than anything this cat has taught me some of the finest lessons of life. She taught lessons on what it means to have a will, what it means to be responsible, and what it mean to be in control of another life. Studies in patience, lessons in sacrifice, and proverbs on unconditional kindness have resounded in her lecture halls. However, her greatest gift will always be showing me how fragile and precious life actually is.
- Mosaic Tallitsch - Packer Fan
I hope I can give her a great day this Sunday. I hope I am able to enjoy it and put aside the burden of the Monday and cherish the final moments we will have together. Two Packer fans, on the couch, watching sports, like we have for years previously. Two friends spending a final day reminiscing on a lifetime.
I'll miss you baby.
Comments (21)
April 17, 2010 at 08:15 pm
Very sorry to hear about Mo.
Thats sucky part about life, it always has to end.
April 17, 2010 at 08:24 pm
Oh dear, now you've made me cry.
April 17, 2010 at 08:26 pm
So sorry brother. Such heartbreak. Thinking of you.
April 17, 2010 at 08:31 pm
I feel for you man that's really sad. Hopefully she will be able to watch the pack with Lombardi somewhere.
April 17, 2010 at 09:31 pm
I can't read the whole thing... I'm not gonna cry... I'm not gonna cry...
I definitely feel for you. It's extremely tough losing a pet.
April 17, 2010 at 09:51 pm
Fuck that sucks man, sorry. I feel for for ya. It does suck a lot more when you have to make the decision, got me fuckin teary eyed...
April 18, 2010 at 02:28 am
Fuckin' pets man. It's all great when they fit in your hand...
April 17, 2010 at 10:04 pm
She sounds pretty amazing. Enjoy your Sunday to the fullest.
April 18, 2010 at 01:49 am
Buddy,
I don't know what to tell you besides...I FEEL YOU BRO. I had a job back in the day where my Black Lab could ride with me all day, every day. Just know this, I had that beautiful little girl with me all day, every day for quite some time... someone poisoned her. The minute I saw signs of her acting weird, I headed to the vet. In a matter of 15 minutes she really got bad, I had to carry her into the vet and she couldn't even stand when I tried to set her down... It didn't end well. That perfect little friend comes to me at night often... PURE... LOVE. I can't imagine a better friend.
I now have an 8 year old female lab, with a 5 year old male lab... best dogs ever! Papers, champion bloodlines, great with the kids.... BUT, they're not Shilo. And I'll probably never see them in the same light.
SHILO 4 LIFE
April 18, 2010 at 02:16 am
Make sure you have some good photos buddy, you'll want them in ten years. Life's a bitch, life can be a fucking brutal cunt. Times like these are hard, it's a goddamn family member, people who don't get-it, don't-get-it, I do bro. The only thing worse than losing a pet is losing a family member, I wouldn't wish either on my worst enemy.
Anyway, tomorrow is Sunday. My old Lady's all gung-ho about taking the kids to church lately (can't say I share the enthusiasm), but I'm gonna make sure my li'l one's 'talk to God' on Mosaic's behalf. God Fuckin' Bless.
Mosaic and Shilo
4 LIFE
JohnRehor
April 18, 2010 at 05:24 am
My pets have always been part of my family, and losing is one is like losing a family member. And I have been down that road several times, and its not easy. I hope you enjoy Sunday, and appreciate and remember all of the good times you spent together.
April 18, 2010 at 08:38 am
Condolences man. Really great piece, I'm sorry you had to write it. Enjoy the day.
April 18, 2010 at 09:32 am
Great post, Alex. I'm really sorry for your loss, cats are awesome and your cat sounds especially awesome.
April 18, 2010 at 10:03 am
Condolences man. I'm not really a cat person, but I've seen 2 of my dogs die.
One of them, a Beagle named "Free Way", was hit by a car in the front of my house, in my mothers' birthday. We were going to the park, on a crosswalk, my mother in front, when a motorcycle going over the speed limit came out of nowhere. The dog jumped in front of it...
And my other dog, a miniature Schnauzer named "Friska" died of uterine cancer. She was also kinda like your cat. She was the most frail one of the dog pound where we got her, and she always had problems. She had some kind of snore on her respiration, she had lots of skin problems... Near the end, she suffered multiple organ failure, but I and my family simply couldn't decide to put her away... We had that little hope, but she died in the veterinary. I still have a hard time with that. I still feel guilty that I prolongued her suffering, but I don't know if I could've changed my approach. I was a coward back then. Hope made me coward.
Coincidentally, both died at age 9 and a half...
So I feel you man. Hopefully the Packers will bring you some confort, starting next week with the draft!
April 18, 2010 at 10:40 am
Condolences, Alex. Only wish the draft could have been on this Sunday.
April 18, 2010 at 10:47 am
Condolences from the HQ, I have been there and it sucks big time. My advice is to go to the local animal control and save another cat who is in danger.
Give Gary a big hug Monday and remember that Mosaic will be with you always.
Gods speed.
April 18, 2010 at 06:17 pm
That sucks dude it is always a sad and tough decision. But unfortunately when you know its the right thing to do you just have to do it. Sorry mate.
April 18, 2010 at 07:16 pm
Final goodbyes are tough. Sorry to hear about this but I am glad you are spending some time together. I think pets know how much we care regardless of how much we can do for them. Thanks Alex.
April 20, 2010 at 10:07 am
Remember it all, so you will never forget..
I been there a few times and it does suck, we all might have the idea but that was YOUR family...
Just remember
April 20, 2010 at 12:22 pm
My most sincere condolences.
I've followed a very similar path to you in that I ended up with a stray cat in my early 20's who has become my constant game-day companion. I had just broken up with a long time girlfriend, and having someone who looked forward to me coming home (and could live in an apartment) was a huge boost to my psyche (as sad as that may sound). While I'm fortunate enough to be about 10 years behind you, I will certainly cherish every Sunday with Bam, and try to bust out the big bucks for Fancy Feast more often.
Good luck, and Mosaic will be in my thoughts.
April 22, 2010 at 04:19 pm
This is a really touching story. I'm glad you had some final time together to really enjoy one another's company. That's important. I lost my cat recently and it still hurts. As it should. Someday, hopefully in a long time, you'll be together again.