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Bacon Bismol

Bacon Bismol

baconpanty

baconpanty

 

Hello Lounge, it is Mr. Bacon. I am typing today's article, in what was known as Green Bay, Wisconsin. At 3:00 p.m. Sunday, the entire town blew up.

 

 

 

 

This happen when "See, Green Bay is overrated." and "Dammit!" fused together to level the entire land mass off the map. Yesterday, a second bomb dropped on the city, as Aaron Rouse, the greatest single safety to ever play the game, was cut.

 

This was no ordinary cut.

 

This was the cut to end all cuts, because in return they picked up, REO Gio Speedwagon.

 

He is safety that played against Aaron Rodgers in junior college. Then he played two years with him at California-Berkley. Then he played against him, sorta, when he was with the Colts. Now he rejoins Rodgers on the Packers squad.

 

Now, as for the Packers faithful, they are forced to take it on the run as Thompson picked up a few more pieces of kindling to the ever-increasing fire of haters.

 

Now we go into Week against the Rams.

 

Before I continue on, I would like to reflect on my 1-1 record here on the Lounge, as I stemmed a lot of hatred last week. It really made me cry, and it was so bad that I had to use the tissues that contain the Aloe Vera. I thought I was really loved here, but obviously that is the not the case anymore.

 

*Sheds a fake tear

 

So all I have to say is bring it on. By bring it on, I do not mean dress up in a cheerleader outfit, but if you do more power to you, I think.

 

This was probably the first week that I have seen a lot of angst on and off the field. The general mood was very bleak, and upset. It was like we lost the NFC Championship for the third time in a row. On the good side, Barbre manned up, but then some dude named ODOM, decided to wreck the left portion of the side. The offense sucked, and even Greg Jennings sucked.

 

Yes, Greg sucked.

 

The defense really didn't do a good job either with Ben-tsunami crashing in continuous waves. Hell, even Ochenta y Cinco got a nice touchdown pass. Woodson was the only bright spot on the defense, as he picked off Carson Palmer 35 times. Jenkins had a sack, but it was a Diet Coke Sack. It was just one sack, not even enough.

 

Bush was the games most valuable player again. He showed it off on Sunday, with two false starts on special teams. Which reminds me of Office Space, when Michael and Peter took a visit to The Bobs. Michael was more competent than Peter, yet he gets fired. I think the same happened yesterday, as Bush was more incompetent than Rouse, and because of that, Rouse gets the cut.

 

McCarthy will not be spared humiliation either. Some coaches, when they see a player commit a penalty either lose their cool or give a sour face. McCarthy has the Doughboy, where he acts pissed but doesn't really blow his top. Then when he gets to the podium, he says the first thing they need to do, is practice Funyunmentals. I agree, but shouldn't McCarthy preach this every game?

 

These players are not always the brightest, just look at their Wonderlic scores.

 

Which brings me now to Father Bacon's Corner of Penance.

 

Ryan Grant...

 

Your punishment shall be, one full day in a hamster ball, followed by one full day of running up steps with two medicine balls in each hand. This will teach you to stop running into people, and fumbling.

 

Greg Jennings

 

Your feet shall be dipped in cement, and you shall catch 100 footballs in a row.

 

Aaron Rodgers

 

I would give you something to do, but sadly you're in a full body cast.

 

The Defense

 

You will be required to place a stick with a wheel between you and the ground. Since when did diving become a practice for tackling? I think you guys have been playing Madden too long to know that diving does nothing.

 

O-Line

 

You shall be placed on the vegan diet.

 

Safeties

 

I would give you punishment for your sins, but you have all become crippled. You guys are making Justin Harrell look like Iron Man.

 

Mike McCarthy

 

You shall read a book... NFL Fundamentals for Dummies.

 

Jarrett Bush

 

Continue the good work! You are such a special guy!

 

I expect a good showing in Saint Louis, and improving to 2-1.

 

Because as we all know, the bye week is after that... and after that a meeting with those guys in Minnesota.

 

Now, with all the bad comedy aside I would like to share something.

 

We live in a great period, where we have become connected to other people, faster and more in-depth. Which brings me to a little incident between Brian of the Railbird and Barnett. Now in every argument, nobody really ever wins. Barnett did his dance, and Brian tweeted about it, and Barnett then got pissed.

 

Ten years ago, the closest we ever gotten to the true personality of an athlete was by interviews and autograph signings. With Twitter, that barrier is broken, as we discover that Nick Barnett really is not just an NFL athlete. He is Nick Barnett, a person who even though makes more money than I will ever make on my own, by ten-fold. He is a regular guy who just happens to be better known than I will ever be.

 

That brings us to Twitter, a tool where we can be regular people even though we follow different paths in life. It can also lead us to rough edges, as Brian would never know what's its really like to be a NFL player. Nor while Barnett ever knows what it is like to be unknown like he is, writing nice articles on his team. Both have their reasons for their arguments, but like all of them, after enough time has passed, they cool down

 

Within the next 50 years I bet, every Packer fan, and NFL fan will be allowed to watch the games through the player's helmets wearing goggles. This will bring us closer to the field than ever, blurring the line between fan and player, and person to person.

 

Technology is a wonderful gift, and hell I work in the field.

 

But, as we become more advanced in that technology, the less we need to realize that what used to be said around the water cooler in private, can now be sent to the actual person we talk about, without proofreading to make sure it's the message we want to send.

 

I am not saying that we are rude; but the power at our hands to send out messages makes us sometimes forget that we are connected more than we could ever imagine.

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Fan friendly comments only: off Comments (11) This filter will hide comments which have ratio of 5 to 1 down-vote to up-vote.

Erik's picture

Minnesota is before the bye week, not after. But other than that another nice Mr. Bacon article.

Mr. Bacon's picture

Thanks for the edit.

Asshalo's picture

"as Aaron Rouse, the greatest single safety to ever play the game, was cut."

Haha, It's not Rouse specifically, it's the overall roster management in general

RonLC's picture

assh,

Rouse signed with the Giants yeterday. He may get a Super Bowl ring before any of the remaining Packers. What a revolting development that is.
________
Bacon,

Technology is evil. My proof: 1. Barnett's TWEET and 2. Sheboygan mayor on YouYTube.
I liked the old days where I could think Lance Alworth was straight and Dick Butkis was a clean player.

Greg C.'s picture

I like your punishments, especially the hamster ball for Ryan Grant. And you are the first fan I know to come right out and say that Greg Jennings sucked against the Bengals. He sure did. But it's one of those things that nobody wants to mention, like when a girl farts or something.

Asshalo's picture

the receivers sucked against Cinci. When you consider their performances in 08 and 09, they're just a shell of what they were in '07. They drop too many balls and their YAC is average.

Mr. Bacon's picture

I think this comes as a shock to most people, because Jennings really has been good with his hands for 3 straight years, and never really had a bad game. Every big name receiver has one.

IronMan's picture

"And you are the first fan I know to come right out and say that Greg Jennings sucked against the Bengals. He sure did. But it’s one of those things that nobody wants to mention, like when a girl farts or something."
LMAO

PackersRS's picture

I prefer Bacon Bits...
Nice post, again!

Stan's picture

who's ass is that....?

Alex Tallitsch's picture

Jersey Al's.

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