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Suck List: Week Five

Suck List: Week Five




I think we all know where this is headed, but for your entertainment purposes only, here is the week five suck list as expressed verbally during Monday night's game.





Once again, for those not familiar with the suck list, here's the skinny.

There is no statistical analysis, or fancy flow charts to the suck list. A player's status can change from week to week or month to month. It is arbitrary and uninformed. A simple mental error, or game changing mistake, can shift you from one side to the other. Say something stupid and you might suck before you know it.

This has nothing to do with performance, but simply the amount of breath I waste each week screaming, "You suck." With that in mind, here is the Week Four Suck List.


Long Snappers

Brett Goode: Doesn't Suck (Five straight weeks of not sucking. Refreshing)


Mason Crobsy: Doesn't Suck (Removed from suck status of last week. Consistency is key.)


Jeremy Kapinos: Doesn't Suck (Fine, you didn't like it last week, so there you go.)


Aaron Rodgers: Doesn't Suck (Get rid of the ball, please)

Matt Flynn: Doesn't Suck (I am going to give Flynn a non-suck week. He lives and dies with Crosby right now.)

Running Backs

Ryan Grant: Sucks (Continues to suck. Had some gift runs in the fourth quarter but not enough.)

Brandon Jackson: Sucks (Almost time to give up hope on Jackson. Yes, I said that.)

DeShawn Wynn: Sucks (Can't catch and can't run. We all know that no one can block.)


Korey Hall: Doesn't Suck (Showing why the kept three on a consistent basis.)

John Kuhn: Sucks (Still can't run it in from the one. Couldn't last year either.)

Quinn Johnson: Sucks (Until you play, you suck.)

Wide Receivers

Greg Jennings: Sucks (I barely know the guy anymore.)

Donald Driver: Doesn't suck (Not much of a game and I believe a drop too. However, DD stays put for now.)

James Jones: Sucks (Bust)

Jordy Nelson: Doesn't suck (Nice job picking up the slack for Will "I'm hurt again" Blackmon.)

Brett Swain: Doesn't suck (He could suck right now too, but I didn't see anything that made me yell.)

Tight Ends

Donald Lee: SUCKS (Seems to be playing tough but that drop pissed me off.)

Jermichael Finley: Doesn't Suck (Moved this week after an amazing job against the Vikings. That stiff arm was killer.)


Scott Wells: Doesn't Suck (I don't think Wells is the problem right now.)


Josh Sitton: Sucks (Fail)

Jason Spitz: Sucks (See Josh Sitton.)


Daryn Colledge: Sucks (Total and complete burnage last week.)

Allen Barbre: Sucks (Look out here comes Tauscher. Maybe he won't need two additional guys to help out.)

T.J. Lang: Doesn't Suck (First game action, not the worst.)

Defensive Ends

Cullen Jenkins: Doesn't suck (Got banged up twice and continued to fight.)

Johnny Jolly: Doesn't Suck (Made some plays, looked like he was playing with passion.)

B.J. Raji: Sucks (Nothing, not a thing, nada) Hattip to PackersRS on the correct spelling of "nada."

Nose Tackles

Ryan Pickett: Doesn't suck (You aren't hearing his name much, but he does the dirty work.)

B.J. Raji: Sucks (See B.J. Raji nosetackle)


Aaron Kampman: Sucks (Not the man for the job. Did get the only hit on Favre though. Impact player? No.)

Brady Poppinga: Sucks (You suck Poppinga, look out for Matthews he's coming)

Brandon Chillar: Sucks (Played a better game than last week, but last week doesn't fade too fast.)

Nick Barnett: Sucks (You have seen that tightend late drag play since junior high, Nick.)

Desmond Bishop: Doesn't suck (Starting to get banged up, no impact soon will get you on the list.)

A.J. Hawk: Doesn't suck (I thought that Hawk played with some fire and made some plays.)

Clay Matthews: Doesn't Suck (Welcome to your first touchdown. That was awesome.)


Charles Woodson: Doesn't suck (You have to minimize the penalties, Chuck)

Al Harris: Doesn't suck (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on the over the top help.)

Tramon Williams: Sucks (That was a terrible game, Tramon.)

Will Blackmon: Sucks (See you on another team next year Blackmon. What a waste.)


Nick Collins: Doesn't Suck (I didn't hear much out of Nick either way. I'll take that right now.)

Jarrett Bush: Sucks (You must suck if you are playing behind a guy who sucks as bad as Derrick Martin.)

Derrick Martin: SUCKS (I hope that throat contusion is from Al choking you out. Terrible performance. Nice sign Ted.)


That is my list as it stands today. If you see a name missing, it is safe to assume...

"They suck"

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Fan friendly comments only: off Comments (19) This filter will hide comments which have ratio of 5 to 1 down-vote to up-vote.

Mr. Bacon's picture

Alejandro, I think you need to seperate Blackmon, one should be Blackmon's Skills vs. Blackmon's Knee. I take that back, it's already been seperated.

However on good news, I think Adrian Peterson has gone into shell shocked, because that was the first time he ever got ripped off by a blonde. To think, for a guy with the greatest ability for a Running Back, he has the shittiest hands in football.

RonLC's picture

SUCKS - Dom Capers
Only blitzed 16% of all defensive plays this year. A vanilla, soft defense, remenisant of Mr. Sanders. What happen to the constant attacking defense we saw in pre-season? Comon Capers, grow a pair!

Jersey Al's picture

I think what has happened, Ron, is we seem to have linebackers that too easily get held held up when blitzing, so why rush six guys when they aren't getting to the QB? Chillar could be the exception, but he's too valuable in coverage. Matthews might could be the mad blitzer of the future, but right now, Capers is not sending him, using him in coverage, as well.

Ineffective blitzing was getting our secondary torched by you know who, so Capers did the only thing he could, pulled back.

I'm not absolving Capers, here, though. I DID expect him to have something special and different laid out to spring on our old friend, but he didn't. He chose to focus on AP and did a great job on that, but challenged BF to beat them. We all know what happens when BF is challenged...

TD's picture

I completely agree with you Al. I wish I had not deleted my DVR of the game, because by Tuesday I was fed up with the 'They Didn't Blitz Enough' mantra, that had become the conventional wisdom. I really wanted to go back and look to see if my recollection of what happened Monday jived with reality. My thoughts during the game were 'Every time we blitz, no one gets home, and Favre is finding the hot guy every f*&^king time. Just stop already!!' It seemed to be me blitzed al lot more in the 1st half than we did the 2nd. I don't know if that's actually what happened or not, but given what I believe was happening (and it appears Al does too), Capers felt like he couldn't afford to keep sending guys.

I also agree that they didn't seem to have anything unique to throw at the Vikes o-line (which in my estimation is absolutely their weakest unit) to confuse them, and offer the D opprotunities to pressure Favre into some mistakes. Perhaps the fact that the Vikes had seen so much 3-4 already, prepared them well for anything the Pack was going to throw at them, but they better figure out something fast, because they come to town in a month, and frankly, if they can't figure out a way to get some heat on Favre, I think were doomed to a similar outcome as we got Monday.

RonLC's picture

Al, Isn't that what Sanders said in his exit interview? The logic you use makes sense if the cover guys don't include names like Martin, Bush, etc.

Asshalo's picture

In the spirit of Ron LC and IronMan I think James Campen deserves a solid spot on the suck list for the first four weeks, with his soon to be record breaking line.

Stan's picture

The whole team sucks right now, that's why McCarthy gave them the week off so they can suck somewhere else for a change.

Serioulsy though what's with the week off training....? Has this team done something to deserve that? Last I looked we had the worst O-Line in the NFL......????

RonLC's picture

Agree Stan, the Bears have a bye this week and they had one day of meetings and two days of workouts prior to getting some time off. Who'd have thought Lovie would be a tougher guy than MM?

Jersey Al's picture

Alex - I'll have a film study, part 1 done tonight for tomorrow morning...

PackersRS's picture

"B.J. Raji: Sucks (Nothing, not a thing, nadda.)"
Nada has only one d.
The rest is fine, but you should've included coaches in there.
MM = sucks (soft)
Campen = sucks (self explanatory)
Philbin = sucks (you never appear. You do nothing. Why are you getting paid? Because we need anyone at the position of OC?)
Capers = sucks (I don't care if you're getting torched, BLITZ! 8 seconds to throw the ball is unnacceptable. At least confuse the QB, don't just keep rushing the same 3 or 4.)
Kevin Greene = sucks (Passion? See Kampman)
Moss = sucks (There're no impact players at ILB.)
Trgovac = doesn't suck (See Jolly and Jenkins.)
Perry = sucks (See Martin. And Bush)
Whitt = sucks (Harris and Woodson are really good. Williams is the one that defines you)

Clemens = doesn't suck (see Aaron Rodgers)
Bennet = sucks (Do we even have any Rbs on this team?)
TE coach = doesn't suck (See Finley)
Robinson = SUCKS (One of the most talented WR corps in the league, and they keep dropping balls?)
Slocum = doesn't suck (for once, ST is not the problem.)

TT = sucks (progress? What is that?)

Alex Tallitsch's picture

Is nada even a real word?

PackersRS's picture

Nothing in portuguese and spanish. ;)
So, no.

Stan's picture

boom boom

Jersey Al's picture

"Perry = sucks (See Martin. And Bush)"

Vince Lombardi would have failed with those two...

PackersRS's picture

What? You're crazy! Lombardi would turn Bush into Butler!

RonLC's picture

Actually, that'd be Willie Wood

PackersRS's picture

<blockquote cite="comment-6084">

<strong><a href="#comment-6084" rel="nofollow">RonLC</a></strong>: Actually, that’d be Willie Wood


Let's not go that far...

RonLC's picture

Can't help it, I'm old. I almost said Hank Greminger.

ACDC84's picture

First time reading this list. Very humorous yet meaningful. I gotta disagree on...

Blackmon- He's shown flashes as a returner, and it sucks that he tore his ACL (or whatever the injury is.) Injury is not his fault, and I had long since written him as being a CB, so he's fine.

Sitton- I'm no expert, but Sitton has played pretty well IMHO. The woes of our line paint a dark picture, and for good reason, but Sitton should be a solid starter for some time.

Colledge- I agree he sucked this past week, but its not his fault. He's a guard. Not a tackle. You can't expect him to have a good showing against the best pass-rusher in the league with just a small handful of practices under his belt. Should he have been that bad? No. But I still like Colledge as a starter (albeit only at his natural LG spot).

You need to start listing the coaching staff. Capers SUCKS for not having his guys ready. Yes, Martin screwed up badly in coverage all night long, but I put that on Capers for not having him ready. Its easy to say in hindsight that we should have blitzed more, but the gameplan of shutting down AD and making Favre beat us was executed to a f*cking T! If Capers had Martin ready to play, a couple of key HUGE plays wouldn't have happened.

MM sucks. Yes, I know. Minny has a great d-line. Our o-line is not good. Grant is nothing special. But when you're on the goal line you need to throw the cute passing plays out the window, man up, and give your RB two chances to pick up one yard. OR, how about a QB sneak? Oh wait, thats right, the QB sneak worked well last year, you know its a solid play, so lets use this huge MNF game to practice other stuff. That sucks. Let's give Philbin a chance to call some plays and let MM take a step back and coach.

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"The Bears still suck!"
"I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious."
"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall. "