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Secret Santa

Secret Santa




I've got a ton of things to do before Christmas, I can't find a massaging bath pillow anywhere and a billion feet of snow is on its way. So, let's skip the analysis and do something fun, and more importantly easy.




My wife has this stupid secret Santa thing at work. They each pick someone and then have to buy them a couple of gifts throughout the week. Personally, I think the return on her investment has been sub-par at best, but as not to be a grinch I thought we could play along.


The scenario is simple. You have just won a contest to be a part of the Packers secret Santa program this year. You must pick a player and get them three gifts. Who would you pick and what would you get them?


Ted Thompson is reserved for Jeremiah's Johnson.

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Fan friendly comments only: off Comments (7) This filter will hide comments which have ratio of 5 to 1 down-vote to up-vote.

Robert Greenfield's picture

I would get Mason Crosby some Billy Mays (RIP) Oxiclean to wash his recently stained bed. Next, I would get him a Gander Mountain laser sight to mount on his leg. Finally, I would refer him to a employment agency who specializes in pity cases. Wow that was mean. Sorry, Mason. Get ‘er done going forward and all will be forgiven!

PackersRS's picture

Hi, Billy Mays here with another fantastic product! R.I.P.

Bearmeat's picture

I am gonna cheat a little here:

1. I would get all the WR's some super glue to put on their gloves.

2. I would get ARod and Woodson a superman cape.

3. I would get Cliffy and Tauch some tigerbalm or Icy Hot to put on their aged wrists, knees, shoulders, hips, feet and maybe backs too....

PackersRS's picture

I would give Jarrett Bush a handshake, a resignation letter and a kick in the butt.

RonLC's picture

I would tell Childress that the fine print in Bent's contract says he reports to Bent on the Queenie Org. Chart. Oh that's right, he already knows that. Bent told him so.
No Chilly, he didn't sign that contract in invisible ink.
Minn. may be on the way out of town if the savior doesn't come through. If they don't get a publicly funded stadium approved next year, here come the LA Vikings. That's my Presnt!

Manitowish Waters's picture

I would get Justin Harrell a bit of a holiday makeover to help get his confidence back. You might notice some of these helpful ideas for Justin are straight from the archives of Packer Ranter :)

1. Jolly Rancher sizzurp-Texas lean. He needs to get over this injury hump somehow.

2. Swagger (jersey untucked). Enough of the choir boy mantra. And lose the jerry curl too.

3. A cool nickname like "Big Cheese" or "Sexy Cheese". You can't hang with the big boys unless your can be addressed like one. Bustin' Justin just ain't cutting it.

Let's all hope this holiday season paves the way for a brand new Justin Harrell in '10.

jeremiah's picture

i would get josh bell a plane ticket back to denver

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"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall. "
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"I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious."