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Breaking: Finley to Undergo Arm Pit Procedure

Breaking: Finley to Undergo Arm Pit Procedure

GREEN BAY - There is word coming out of Green Bay that Packers superstar tight end Jermichael Finley will undergo armpit surgery late this evening.

J just gave me the consent Ive been waiting 5 years for, TONIGHT I get to wax his arm pits. YESSSSSSSS. Im stoked.

This should come as a surprise to most Packer fans, as neither Mike McCarthy or the post-game injury report eluded to any need for Finley's dermal surgery. Packer fans can only hope that the procedure goes well and that Finley returns to form on Sunday. According to a source, he'll be ready to go.

He'll be ready to go. This is something Jermichael has been meaning to do for awhile. It should help to promote a little less air resistance on some of his shorter routes.

With the seemingly endless injury list, the Packers cannot afford to lose yet another key starter on any side of the ball. If history is any indicator Finley should be okay. Says a physician familiar with the procedure:

Although often messy and painful, this procedure is minimally invasive. Most patients tend to recover within 24 hours, although their reputation may never be the same.

We will keep you updated as we get further details on Finley's condition.

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Fan friendly comments only: off Comments (14) This filter will hide comments which have ratio of 5 to 1 down-vote to up-vote.

Michele's picture

Per my source, after the procedure, it's guaranteed that Finley will never drop a ball.

Anita's picture

I dunno. Ever see The 40 Year Old Virgin? There's blood involved with body hair removal. And rashes. What if he cant put his arms down by Sunday?

Michele's picture

I'm picturing him screaming out, "AHHH, CLAY MATTHEWS!!!" while he's having it done.

bozz_2006's picture

You asshole! My heart stopped for a second when I read the title! LOL, nice work.

RockinRodgers's picture

Yep me too.

PackersRS's picture

SOLID journalism right here! One can only hope the added aerodynamics doesn't actually hurt his performance, and he starts dropping balls.

After all, it's not the first time aerodynamics has been news in the NFL.

Andy's picture

I especially like the part "Most patients tend to recover within 24 hours, although their reputation may never be the same." LOL!!

Brando's picture

OMG I can't stop laughing!

fhornplayer83's picture

Great piece to break the ice this week... thanks for the laughs!

FITZCORE1252's picture


JRich's picture

Call me dull, but not all.

Alex Tallitsch's picture

You're dull dude.

foundinidaho's picture

I saw Courtney tweet that....ewwwwww....that girl gives out WAY too much information on a regular basis. Somewhat entertaining in a train wreck sort of way.

Cuphound's picture

I always look forward to your critique, FII!

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