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Bears. Beat. No One.

Bears. Beat. No One.

It’s Wednesday now, so I hope that means we’re all in much better moods. Or have at least decided to be in better moods, because, friends its time to stop complaining about each other, and start focusing on Da Bears.

This morning my long suffering Bears fan Co-worker, here after known affectionately as BFCW came into my office and asked me to write down my cell phone number. You know, just in case come Christmas evening something should happen that she’d like to gloat about. Oddly, the person who had my job when the company first started was also a Packers fan. I’ve met her, shareholder since 97, and BFCW and the original Jayme still stay in touch. Most of their communication though is BFCW leaving long “Bears rule, Packers drool” messages. Honestly, I’m pretty amped to have shared my very sacred digits and cannot wait for Christmas. BFCW and I have exchanged few words about the rivalry, most of them ending last year before the NFCC when she told me her editorial writer friend knew more about sports than me…but that’s a whole ‘nother conversation. I look forward to some fun goading, and I’m assuming after about midway through the second quarter a quiet phone.

Anyways, with the holidays and the layover of angst, and with the bears losing, on average, one player a week, this game seems to be flying under the radar. Or at least closer to the ground than the previous meeting when I spent my week making funny Jay Cutler pictures.

With the Packers having rolled most of this season – excluding last week – and the Bears struggling, this game should be a foregone conclusion.

According to Rob Demovsky, of the Green Bay Press Gazette, on a conference call with Green Bay press this morning Chicago linebacker and face of the franchise, Brian Urlacher discussed the Bears needing a change and the possibility of the recent Chicago quarterback switch being that spark.

Last week at this time, we were all laughing. “The Chiefs don’t have a coach. The Chiefs don’t even know which quarterback they’re going to have start the game.” Ah the good old days. Somewhere while we were all laughing, the Chiefs figured out something that Denver never could, Orton can actually throw the ball – well, sometimes. And the players decided to rally around Romeo over Todd – which if you’ve ever listened to George Carlin, who can blame them.

So will switching from Caleb Hanie, the hero/loser of last year’s NFCC to this guy

give the Bears the spark they need? (to be fair, Josh has since gone through a makeover and now spikes his hair).

Well, despite being born on the Fourth of July – aka the “Spark”-ler Holiday, I’m guessing that the man whose career td-int ratio is 35-41 won’t be dialing up any magic for the Bears.

So with the guy who looks like the oldest kid from Home Improvement (comparison thanks to THIS awesome website) at the helm, a recently waived “alleged” drug dealer facing federal charges and slew of injuries that makes even me feel bad for them, the Bears will hobble into Lambeau field Christmas night.

So despite their short comings, and despite it being the night of giving, do not let these bears fool you. They are the Bears. They should not be feared, but they should be hated. Because, like Stephen Colbert Bears are the number one threat to America and they should be dealt with as such.



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"The Bears still suck!"
"I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious."
"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall. "