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I Don't Hate Favre, I Hate Childress.

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I Don't Hate Favre, I Hate Childress.

So here we are, the week we've been dreading/looking forward to since that fateful day Favre flew to Minneapolis and signed his name on the dotted line and became a member of the Minnesota Vikings.

And I have to be honest, I don't feel the hate for Favre. I really don't. Oh sure, it will be great if Kampman spears him in his back or if a blitzing Woodson takes his head off. I'll be braying for blood once kickoff arrives. But I don't hate Favre. Yes, he's morphed into a bit of a monster the last few years with his feud with Thompson and he has his faults. But who doesn't? (Besides Greg Jennings, obviously)

But man oh man do I feel the hate for Brad Childress.

This is the guy who wouldn't get on a plane to give Ted Thompson the time of day when he was the hot head coaching prospect back in 2006. (How laughable does that seem now?) He then had the temerity to suggest that the Vikings had better personnel and were closer to a championship than the Packers. This was pre-Peterson and when the Packers still had Favre.

Then, of course, there was the unbelievably classless act of snubbing McCarthy after last years opener for the post game handshake, which Childress then made even more of an insult  by lying and saying he needed to 'check on the mental state of his quarterback' when, in fact, he was simply showing his true colors by not shaking McCarthy's hand. Childress no doubt was upset by the fact that the Packers had filed tampering charges against the Vikings earlier in the summer. But to not shake McCarthy's hand? What the hell does that prove? I mean, I know you're upset because out of the six times you've played him you've only beaten him once, and even then it took a last second missed field goal.

I mean, THINK about that - Mangini and Belichick even shook hands after Spygate.

And then think about this - Childress was hired on the strength of his supposed offensive credentials and ability to develop a quarterback. He hand-picked Tarvaris Jackson to be his Donavan McNabb.

And he completely and utterly blew it.  I mean, Jackson has not only NOT become a good NFL quarterback, he hasn't even become a mediocre NFL quarterback. So what does Childress do? Start sniffing around Brett Favre, of course, because he needs to save his job. Because he has no soul. Because he has no class.

Does anyone remember what the man said after his lone victory over McCarthy? "Always good to beat those people." First of all, ALWAYS? You've done it once, you prick. Secondly, "Those people"? What the hell is THAT supposed to mean? You mean the greatest organization in the history of sports? Let me remind you of something you bearded pug of a man, you work for a team and are supported by a fanbase that COULDN'T SELL OUT A PLAYOFF GAME. Your organization is a freekin' joke, your stadium sucks, and you are, by far, the best thing that could have ever happened to the Packers. Why? Because you didn't get on that plane and meet Ted Thompson. You imbecile.  Yes, the team that you claimed was so bereft of talent has gone to the NFC Championship and would have been in the Super Bowl if your new toy Favre would have been able to complete a freekin' pass. Meanwhile, you've benched the quarterback you HAND PICKED to lead your team in favor of Gus Freekin' Ferotte. I mean, are you kidding me?

Now, I know what some of my more tender hearted readers are thinking. That I am being way too hard on Childress. They have no doubt read about what a great guy he is and what a loving family man he is. And in response  to that, I turn to the master:

Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids.

I'm sorry. I'm obviously off and running here and I should probably stop before things get ugly.

I just fucking hate Brad Childress.

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Fan friendly comments only: off Comments (45) This filter will hide comments which have ratio of 5 to 1 down-vote to up-vote.

RockinRodgers's picture

Awesome post. I feel your anger.
I can already feel the tension of this game.

dennis eckersley's picture

i would break my own leg if it meant his was broken in return

BJ Foji's picture

Brilliant. And well-said. Childress is a milquetoast nothing. He was nothing at Wisconsin. He coached under an offensive-minded head coach at Philadelphia and has demonstrated any unique or special abilities. And he looks like a tool.

D.D. Driver's picture

This is your finest post ever.

D.D. Driver's picture

That said, as much as I hate Childess now I hated him much more when he was coaching *my* team. Here's hoping he stays in Minnesota a long time.

Ryeguy812's picture

Love it! Can we throw in something about the half beard?

Packsmack's picture

Not to mention,I'm pretty sure Chilly is a pedophile. Just look at the guy. He has the pedo stache AND glasses. Plus the shiny pedo-bald head and beard. Just a creepy looking guy.

Oh, and anyone who lets a 40-year-old QB throw 46 times in a game when you have Adrian Peterson getting less than 20 carries absolutely BLOWS at coaching.

ImTheDoctah's picture

I actually think the beard is a better look for him then just the stache. When he was rockin just the stache he looked like the type of guy who drives around in a big white van near schoolyards asking children if they want any candy. Thus me and my buddies call him "Chester the Molestor".

ImTheDoctah's picture

I swear I didn't see Packsmacks post before I made mine. Funny we came to the same conclusion tho

Andrew's picture

You speak for us all.

nerdmann's picture

I hate Favre.

Asshalo's picture

At first, I was puzzled but now I get it. You had me at " “Always good to beat those people.”
I just think he and the owner are idiots for masterminding that fiasco in August. I am still amazed that they threw their personnel under the bus like that-- goodbye integrity. Unfortunately, integrity doesn't always translate to success. Fortunately though, Favre is 40 years old, immobile and flat footed, with 9 sacks to his name. He didn't last to week 12 last year while getting hit less.

mark's picture

I don't feel the hate for Favre either. I have to admit it...can't fake it. When he threw the winner last week, somewhere deep down inside of me was a smile. That being said, I'm pretty sure the spot "deep down inside of me" was in my rectum. And I'm pretty sure that smile has since been shitted out of my system. Because now the Vikings aren't playing the 49ers this week--they're playing the Packers. And it's time to beat some ass. To paraphrase detective Scotty Appleton: I want this win so bad, my dick is hard.

Holly's picture

For the last several years, Favre has been the worst kind of boyfriend. He does things that cut you down and make you feel bad about yourself. He makes stupid decisions that force you to question why you're still with him...and then he'll make it you to you by doing something so sweet and amazing that you forgive everything else. Now, he's that ex that's parading around with that girl down the hall, you know, the one he used to agree was trash but now says he "always thought was really hot."
I mean, you hate the girl because you've always hated the girl, and now she's even more of a two-bit slut. But it's hard not to hate the ex even more than the girl for considering that he could ever do better than you. Just sayin'.

Ron La Canne's picture

Childress is a coaching dunce which, should work to GB's advantage. Favre made his personal issues ours (the fans)hence, I dislike him to the point of ....

D.D. Driver's picture

Holly. I'm really sorry, but it just wasn't working out. It was not you. It was me.
Also, my heart is big enough to hate both Childress and Favre.

Franklin Hillside's picture

I'm pretty sure the term "douchebag" entered our national lexicon precisely when Childress was hired in MN. Coincidence?

PackersRS's picture

Childress is scum. Have you seen him talking at that NFL Network coaches commercial? "To suceed in this business, you have to have integrity on and off the field" or something like that. Yeah, go tell that to Tarvaris Jackson, Sage Rosenfels and to Bobby Wade... He's no more than a chicken shit.

Franklin Hillside's picture

His recent comments about "coveting" favre made me throw up in my mouth. I think we can all agree that tamperig definitely occurred...shouldn't we get a draft pick out of that?

VApackerfan's picture

YES! I love this post. Who cares if he is a family man. So are pedophiles sometimes. I'm with DDD. My heart is big enough to hate Favre too. When he is inducted into the Packer HOF, then I'll be over it. But as long as he wears that ugly purple while Childress slaps his ass on good plays, I will hate both of them.

Erik's picture

I'm rarely on board with you, Mr. Nagler. But damn, this is a great article. Nicely done.

keeley2's picture

One more bit of classlessness for you to digest: Guess who's been deactivated every Sunday since # 4 arrived in Minny? Sage Rosenfels! I wonder how big a fan he is of his current head coach? I could bore you with all kinds of quotes Childress spewed out when they signed him - but I'm thinking you're all smart enough to know what went on there.

AdamInEngland's picture

Tru dat, tru dat. This has to be the first post in Cheeseheadtv history that has no long-winded debate in the comments.

Andyman's picture


PackerBacker's picture

My only hope is that BF fails around week 10 and buries what could have been a pretty tough team to beat. Everyone say hello to the L.A. Vikings.

By the way have you guys seen this shit?
What kind of fucking losers did they find to vote in that survey? It was probably Pack66 sitting at home in his parents basement voting 3,000 times.
Fuck Favre. Tear his head off and shove it down Childress' throat.

Chicago Hooligan's picture

Now listening to "Hit 'Em Up" on Youtube.

NickGBP's picture

I agree wholeheartedly.

WoodyG's picture

I agree with all of the above plus....

There is no doubt in my mind that Chilly will be unemployed at season's end along with his boy, Brent Faver.

How sweet it will be !!

AndrewInAtlanta's picture

I can't respond or it will turn into an epic. Let's just say my feelings of ill will extend to BOTH Favre and Childress. I never wanted my team to win a game more than I want this one. I pray to Curly Lambeau we get this done this week

Andrew In Atlanta's picture

Just reading some of the responses...Childress is a pedophile. LMFAO!

The Holly post about ex-boyfriends is hysterical too, as is DDDs response!

Ruppert's picture

Remember Chilly's statement at hiring about how "he chose the Vikings," not the other way around????

Brad Childress: Putting the "ass" in "kick-ass offense."

gratif's picture

Good rant.

PackerHaiku's picture

Purple Favre is wrong
But black & blue version
Fine with Green & Gold

cow42's picture

"That being said, I’m pretty sure the spot “deep down inside of me” was in my rectum. And I’m pretty sure that smile has since been shitted out of my system. "

And this:
"I want this win so bad, my dick is hard."

Could very well be the greatest lines ever written anywhere ever.

bomdad's picture

I'll go one step further on the integrity of the Vikes org. Some years ago they claimed to have installed a code of conduct and pledged to do background checks. Not more than two years later they trade for Jared Allen and this year they draft Percy Harvin. Both of those guys have toed the line with behavior, but they seemed like the only team without regard for the players' history.
I love Jerry Jones comments about the Minnesota franchise. And that in itself was another show of the lack of class of the organization. I mean, who does that to a region and fan base? Invite somebody in to bash the state and fans? The Gophers have a new place, the Twins have a new place, and the scumbags still wallow in the dome.

dennis eckersley's picture

haikus are 5-7-5 not 5-6-5

foundinidaho's picture

I hear ya. But I'm not too fond of Brent either these days if he'd hook up with a douchebag like that. I'm just sayin'.

Andrew, you'd better go to St. Vincent for this one. We need the big guns this week.

bucky's picture

I used that boyfriend- err, girlfriend- analogy in this post earlier in the month:

"I had this girlfriend once. It seemed like we were together forever.
For the longest time, it was wonderful; she made me feel like a million bucks. But the last several years of the relationship, you could start to see the wear around the edges. Every spring she started talking about moving out. Then by fall, we'd have things patched up. Finally one spring she said she'd had enough, and moved out. By summer, I was seeing someone else who seemed pretty cool, but then the old girlfriend called and wanted to move back in. What to do?

"I finally drew a line in the sand, and said no more. The new girlfriend was working out well, but the old girlfriend was not happy, and let all our friends know it. She moved in with someone across town for a year, but that relationship, which started with such promised, quickly turned sour, and she moved out on him too. She saw how happy I was with the new girl, and decided to start flirting with the married guy who works down the hall from me. He kept turning her down, saying he was happy with what he had, until all of a sudden he said yes, kicked his old lady to the curb, and moved my old flame in. He doesn't yet realize what's going on, or what he's in for; she just wants me to see her with him, and she'll break his heart before Christmas."

keeley2's picture

Aaron - what could possibly compel you to insult morons by associating them with Childress?

joshywoshybigfatposhy's picture

i love that andy at packergeeks has a post that went up about the same time as this one titled "i hate bees." weird parallel universes of hatred going on.

i love that they stray from pure packer talk over there once in a while for 'random idiocy,' and at the same time, i love that you usually don't(and i do consider rants about chilly pure packer talk by the way - hating despicable rivals is an important football value). but it is nice to have such a fine variety of packerblogs to get paid to read all day...

Matt Flynn's picture

Come on, Aaron. Tell us how you really feel!

Great post! Childress sucks!!!

LACheez's picture

i just hope the hate is flowing through the veins of the players as well so we show up on monday night with energy and play better than we have in the first 3 games this season. because if we don't show that fire and play better (maybe a little pash rush, more cohesiveness on offense), i don't feel very good about coming out of that shithole with a win. i know we can do it, we just need to step it up. we definitely need more of a vocal leader on the team - maybe rodgers, woodson, or driver need to be that voice.

Vikes35Packers13's picture

Cry it up you big babies, Favre pwned all your whinny asses. Now watch him in purple and gold.

packeraaron's picture

If by "owned" you mean screwed the team out of yet another chance at a Super Bowl in 07, well, there you have me.

InFact's picture

Aaron, I appreciate your acumen -- but you can get your point across without swear words and hyperbolic character attacks that are based on your emotions.

A final editing of your prose and, in doing so, toning down your boiling points would lend more journalistic creedence to this article.

Currently, it reads as too much of a blogger's rant.

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