It’s time once again for that venerable series, the tales that will never end as long as I choose to live in Chicago: why Bears fans are morons.
Today’s story: You go ahead and keep thinking that.
Once upon a time (yesterday) I was at work, minding my own business,earning my keep and bringing home my pay so my wife and I can enjoy the fruits of my labor. A “normal” day in the grand scheme of things. Or so I thought.
In the middle of the day, a co worker of mine, who happens to be a Bears fan, approached me and we started talking football. Before I continue, I should note that this same co worker had been exceptionally quiet since the Packers won the Super Bowl, choosing to play the “you’ve got a good team” quasi-respect card than saying what he really wanted to. That was about to change.
We started discussing the draft, and what we thought of each team’s players selected, how they would benefit the team, and so on. The discussion was level headed, and neither of us made any jabs at the other for the majority of the conversation.
I was curious, from a Bears fan’s perspective, what he thought of them not making an effort to upgrade at the skill positions on offense, in particular wide receiver. I went on to mention that although Johnny Knox is serviceable and Devin Hester is, well, Devin Hester, their wide receivers could use an upgrade.
Ready for the bombshell? Here it comes:
“The Bears already have the best receivers in the division.”
I’ll let you process that for a moment, the same as I had to, before I continue.
Understanding who and what I was dealing with (idiot Bears fan), I could have reacted in two ways. One way would have been to explode in sarcasm, laughing and mocking his so called level of football knowledge. The alternate solution was to remain calm, take a deep breath and listen to his rationale for such a statement. I chose option b.
“Uh-uh. And out of curiosity, what makes the Bears receivers the best in the division?” I asked, pondering the level of wisdom that was inevitably going to be thrust upon me.
“Well Johnny Knox is really good at, um, getting down field. And Hester is really fast. Cutler really knows how to use them in the Bears offense.”
Amazed at the knowledge I had just been passed, and hoping that my next statement would mercifully end this discussion, I said “So you truly believe that Knox and Hester are better than Greg Jennings, Donald Driver, James Jones, Jordy Nelson, Calvin Johnson, and (maybe) Sidney Rice? Are you honestly telling me that?”
Without missing a beat, his response: “I sure am. And we’re going to prove it next year.”
Left to absorb the plethora of stupid that I had just heard, the only thing I could say was “You go ahead and keep thinking that.” With that, we both went back to work, myself a little dumber for listening to what he had to say, my co worker hopefully a little wiser than he had been a few minutes earlier.
Even in the midst of a lockout, where the Packers and Bears are both affected, some Bears fans just cannot come to grips with the fact their team sucks.
Filed Under: John Rehor