Weekly Suckage Guaranteed

John owes someone an apology, and introduces a new feature.

I owe someone an apology.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how a certain team really pissed me off about the ongoing issues at their stadium. Since I am lucky enough to hear about this team and their issues every day, it seemed a simple task to write about what ticked me off on this particular day.

To my surprise, after it was posted, I received a request from the ultimate fantasy football commissioner who just so happens to have his own sound effect. His request was for me to every week find some reason to rip on the Bears. This was a challenge which was accepted quickly and with much excitement.

One week into the assignment, I failed at life. I forgot to live up to my end of the bargain, and the Bears went unscathed last week.

Rest assured, this will not happen again.

Starting this week, I will make it a priority to find some reason to laugh at the Bears and discuss it. Whether it is something Jay Cutler says (which shouldn't be too difficult to find) or their play on the field, it will be my gift to you. The plan is to have something for you every Tuesday, unless the Packers play on a Monday, but as we all know, it could change.

I haven't thought of a name of this weekly gig yet. Something like "Why the Bears Suck This Week" is too simple, so I'll leave it up to the readers to decide. May the best name win.

For this week, since the Bears are going to be playing the Giants tonight, I thought it would be appropriate to post a sight Jay Cutler should be familar with, since his offensive line is, well, offensive.

Keep crying Jay. We'll all be here laughing at you.

 

Edit: going to add name suggestions received on Twitter here, just so everyone can see all of the suggestions.

@MrChang1232002-Un-Fucking-BEAR-Able

@delonges-Hatie Lovie

@cubanalaf-Chokeago

@FoundInIdaho & @KrisLBurke-Ask Rehor Why the Bears Still Suck

@TundraVision-What Bears Do In The Woods

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Comments (15)

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PackfanfromIL's picture

August 22, 2011 at 04:46 pm

Loved it, Bears still Suck

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JohnRehor's picture

August 22, 2011 at 04:59 pm

Thanks. and you are correct-they suck

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Ian's picture

August 22, 2011 at 04:50 pm

The Unbearables? Bearly There? Bears Downed? Bear Minimum?

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JohnRehor's picture

August 22, 2011 at 04:52 pm

Very nice.

I definitely like one of them, but not saying which. Have to get some more entries before deciding

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BigSnakeMan's picture

August 22, 2011 at 04:57 pm

Em-Bear-Ass-ment!

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BigSnakeMan's picture

August 22, 2011 at 04:58 pm

Or Em-Bear-Asses-ment

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JohnRehor's picture

August 22, 2011 at 05:00 pm

Two good entries. Good enough to win? We'll see.

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foundinidaho's picture

August 23, 2011 at 10:01 am

Jay Cutler Wears A Skirt.

(yes, I realize you'd have to change the name when they dump him.)

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JohnRehor's picture

August 23, 2011 at 05:09 pm

Nicely done. And he does wear a skirt-I've seen the photo

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Wiscokid's picture

August 24, 2011 at 10:06 am

More Wisco envy from Chicago just in case you missed it.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/Green-Bay-Packers-Milwaukee-Brewers-f...

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JohnRehor's picture

August 24, 2011 at 04:05 pm

Yeah, I saw that. It's such a pathetic stereotype of Chicago sports fans, always jealous of everyone else, especially Wisconsin sports teams.

Here's a thought: get better teams so you can stop being jealous of everyone else!

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Wiscokid's picture

August 24, 2011 at 06:07 pm

Fresh news from the Onion:

Bears Offensive Line Coach Mike Tice Fairly Close To Learning Difference Between Tackle And Guard.

BOURBONNAIS, IL—Despite struggling through the first three weeks of training camp, Bears offensive line coach Mike Tice told a group of reporters Tuesday he has “just about figured out” the difference between offensive tackles and guards. “I can’t say with confidence right now I know which is which, but that’s why we hold training camp,” said Tice, who has tried to label the line formation on his fingers to help him remember but keeps sucking the ink off while thinking about other things. “You work on this stuff now so you don’t have to worry about it during the season.” Though Tice speculated he could learn the difference between the types of players by the beginning of the regular season, he admitted that he continues to struggle with the difference between “left” and “right.”

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Jim Regan's picture

August 25, 2011 at 05:53 pm

RE: The Team That Poops in the Woods

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JohnRehor's picture

August 26, 2011 at 08:25 am

Nice dude. Nice

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Ken Huber's picture

May 24, 2012 at 07:00 pm

awesome insights you are sharing. I admire the way you are sharing it. Is there any way I could sign up for more?

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