I haven’t cried yet.

Considering it’s been over 36 hours; this is pretty much a record for me. I also haven’t really talked about what happened. Avoidance seems to be paying off.

I’m the girl who couldn’t get out of bed after the Packers lost to the Cowboys in the divisional round in 1995, the girl who pretty much tore her room apart after Chris Jacke missed a 40 some yard field goal in Tampa, the girl who cried months afterward at the mention of Vince Young, and a girl who is no longer welcomed back at Willie’s in Covington due to a small scene involving a lot of tears on steps outside their door.

Yet somehow right now, I appear to be floating along, as if nothing happened. As if everything good and right in this world hasn’t recently come crashing down around me.

I believe this is the stage of grief that the experts like to call denial and avoidance. And as I glance down at the watch I put on this morning I realize that it is upside down, I think it’s pretty clear that I’m knee, or at least wrist, deep in denial.

According to the medical websites I am in the first stage of grief/mourning. Personally I always thought crying irrationally came first. But apparently ignoring the fact that your team pooped all over itself Najeh Davenport style on national television is quite common. Apparently the crying will come next, along with guilt and then anger, and then FINALLY depression. Wow, I have a feeling I’m in for a long bumpy off season.

In hopes of trying to avoid the pain, and months of black hole depression where I question everything that happened on that field and spend most of my time curled up in the fetal position mumbling the word fumble over and over again, I also googled “what to do while mourning” and found some very FUN tips that’s to this website.

• Lie in the sun streaming in through your windows. Bathe, breathe in the sun. – This sounds like a great idea…in May when the sun comes back
• Designate an afternoon or evening and take the phone off the hook. – If any of you still have a phone that requires a hook, I’d like to meet you.
• Buy yourself or your loved one a gift—and have the clerk gift wrap it. Choose the prettiest paper and bow. Celebrate fond memories. – I was going to buy SB a ticket to the NFL experience in Indianapolis. Those would have been some sweet memories.
• Dressed in comfortable clothing, find a rocking chair and rock your troubles away. – This is not what I think of when suggesting Rock your troubles away.
• Burn Russian amber or sandalwood incense. – Note it does not say burn New York Giants jerseys.
• Breathe—really breathe! Take deep breaths in through the nose and slowly out through the mouth. – This one is very important. You should always breathe. If you don’t bad things happen.
• Play music that matches your mood. Feel understood by the songs and singers that share your experiences – might I suggest “I Love My Green Bay Packers” and any anti-Bears and Vikings songs. If you can’t have it all with your team, remember, other teams have it way worse.
• And my own: something that I always remember as good advice: Don’t make any drastic changes. Don’t change your look (I dyed my hair last night), or use this opportunity to tell those fringe friends what you really think about them (I tried to stay off twitter and my phone the past couple of days).

I’m not really sure if any of these will help. Personally, I know that I am mere hours/days away from a John level rant about the Hail Mary. But hey, if the internet wants me to breathe I will breathe, and continue to pretend that the end of the world didn’t happen on Sunday.

Anyone else have any “How to survive the abrupt end to the 2011 season”? Please feel free to share. I think I’m going to need them as soon as the tears come.