I am not a good trash talker. I’m not. I can usually throw out one good line and then I cower in the corner. I also care way too passionately (some might say to a level that requires mental help) about my team, and so after a loss, I don’t want to talk trash, I cry. I’m probably not supposed to admit all this, but it’s the truth.
But last night I found myself in bed watching old episodes of The Office on my brand new fancy blu-ray player (thanks to my current, much better boyfriend than the one mentioned in my previous post) and I heard a wise, wise quote from Ms. Kelly Kapoor:
I don’t talk trash; I talk smack. Trash talk is all hypothetical; like, ‘Your mama’s so fat she could eat the Internet.’ But smack talk is happening like right now; like, ‘You’re so ugly and I know it for a fact because I got the evidence right there.'
It was as if a light bulb went off in my head. I don’t talk trash. I talk smack. And THAT, I am good at.
All year long, Packers and Bears fan have been sparing off on twitter, yet for some reason I woke up on Monday morning to letters of truce. What planet do I live on?
This is a monumental game, and I agree that both teams competing in it have earned the right to be there. But suggesting Bears fans, Packers fans not talk any trash/smack seems almost unnatural.
I currently work with a lady from Chicago. She’s beyond nice and has helped me adjust to my new job famously. We also talk a lot of smack. It’s definitely all in good fun. We both care passionately and do everything with a smile.
As an SC fan, I once worked with a Notre Dame fan. We would talk all sorts of nonsense the week leading up to the game, Monday morning, not a word.
In week 17, in the comment section of my previous Bears Still Suck post, I received a comment suggesting I weighed 350 pounds and that I should eat more cheese. Eat more cheese has now turned into a mantra of sorts. And seeing as I weigh dramatically less than 350 I wasn’t shaken by the comment.
I’m all for respecting this game, but where did the fun go this week? I’m not out to hurt anyone’s feelings, or say that their mom could eat the internet, but where are the Packers fans pointing out the potential lack of Chicago receivers to catch anything against this Packers secondary? Where are the Bears fans joking about how Starks will have trouble running on the crummy turf at Soldier field? Where is everyone?
I’m not asking for a war, lord knows, I don’t have the balls to take it. But where did the good ol’ fun of rivalries go? Isn’t there a way to make fun of Jay Cutler and the stupid way he wears his helmet perched on top his head and still respect the game?
I respect the game. Heck, I even respect knowledgeable Bears fans. (Anyone who can stick around that team deserves some sort of recognition – ZING!) But I’m going to be respectful by not putting away my smack talk. I’m going to honor the game in the only way I know how. By taping a Bears decal to my garbage can, searching for videos of kids singing The Bears Still Suck, and emailing my co-worker pictures of Cutler getting sacked.
And if that means I’m breaking some truce, or respect, or whatever, oh well. That I can live with. Just like I can live with the fact that the 6th seed is favored over the 2nd seed on their home field.
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