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The 2009 Suck List

The 2009 Suck List

suck

suck

 

As any Packer fan does, I have my favorite players and those I just don't like that much. My ranking system is simple: you either suck, or you don't.

 

 

 

 

There is no statistical analysis, or fancy flow charts to my list. The status can change from week to week or month to month. It is arbitrary and uninformed. A simple mental error, or game changing mistake, can shift you from one side to the other. Say something stupid and you might suck before you know it.

Here is the 2009 "Suck List" as I see it. Good luck to all those who made the leap to non-suckitude.

Long Snappers

Brett Goode: Doesn't suck (he's a longsnapper, that's shame enough)

Kickers

Mason Crobsy: Doesn't Suck (keep missing game winners and that can change)

Punters

Jeremy Kapinos: Doesn't suck (after Frost, this is automatic)

Durant Brooks: Sucks (hasn't proven anything, plus he's a punter)

Quarterbacks

Aaron Rodgers: Doesn't Suck (the factual ones are easy)

Matt Flynn: Sucks (sorry not sold)

Brian Brohm: Sucks (could easily be sucking elsewhere in four weeks)

Running Backs

Ryan Grant: Sucks (here, here, and here)  

Brandon Jackson: Doesn't suck (again, give the ball to Jackson)

DeShawn Wynn: Doesn't suck (I hope he shows up finally)

Kregg Lumpkin: Sucks

Tyrell Sutton: Sucks

Fullbacks

Korey Hall: Sucks

John Kuhn: Sucks

Quinn Johnson: Doesn't suck (here's to hoping)

Wide Receivers

Greg Jennings: Doesn't suck (come on)

Donald Driver: Doesn't suck (after this off-season, Driver is closer to the suck list than he ever has been)

James Jones: Doesn't suck (I like James)

Jordy Nelson: Doesn't suck (see James Jones)

Ruvell Martin: Doesn't suck (give us one Ruvell)

Jamarko Simmons: Doesn't suck (a rare undrafted rookie gets a pass)

Brett Swain: Doesn't suck (I like the last play of this video)

Jake Allen: Sucks (Taco Wallace)

Kole Heckendorf: Sucks (nevermind)

Tight Ends

Donald Lee: Doesn't suck (nothing flashy but solid)

Jermichael Finley: Sucks (sorry dude, twitter doesn't get you a pass)

Tory Humphrey: Sucks

Spencer Havner: Sucks (it better not come to this)

Centers

Jason Spitz: Sucks (no proof in the pudding yet)

Scott Wells: Sucks (I like his attitude, but he sucks anyway)

Duke Preston: Sucks (you can suck at being versatile too)

Guards

Daryn Colledge: Doesn't suck (he played on blue turf)

Josh Sitton: Sucks (has to earn some more non-suck points yet)

T.J. Lang: Doesn't suck (nice mini-camp)

Allen Barbre: Sucks (plenty of opportunity to prove he is the real deal)

Tackles

Chad Clifton: Doesn't suck (it's Clifton)

Jamon Meredith: Sucks (prove them all wrong Jamon)

Breno Giacomini: Sucks (nothing but a cool name to show for anything)

Tony Moll: Really Sucks

Defensive Ends

Cullen Jenkins: Doesn't suck (most overlooked returning player this season)

Johnny Jolly: Sucks (not the biggest Jolly fan)

Jarius Wynn: Sucks (rookie sixth rounder...enough said.

Justin Harrell: Sucks (bustin' Justin)

Michael Montgomery: Sucks

Alfred Malone: Sucks

Nose Tackles

Ryan Pickett: Doesn't suck (enjoy your last season in Green Bay)

B.J. Raji: Doesn't Suck (automatic pass for making the draft not suck)

Anthony Toribio: Sucks (eat more, suck less)

Linebackers

Aaron Kampman: Doesn't suck (this will be the last year that Kamp will see the list)

Brady Poppinga: Sucks (this could easily change)

Brandon Chillar: Doesn't suck (I like Chillar)

Nick Barnett: Doesn't suck (he needs to be healthy)

Desmond Bishop: Doesn't suck (still makes the list because of this)

A.J. Hawk: Doesn't suck (I hold firm in my belief 2008 was hindered by injury)

Jeremy Thompson: Sucks (let's see it on the field)

Clay Matthews: Sucks (live up to the hype)

Spencer Haver: Sucks (the tenth linebacker)

Danny Lansanah: Sucks (Tracy White can come back now)

Cornerbacks

Charles Woodson: Doesn't suck (again, facts are easy)

Al Harris: Doesn't suck (broken spleen)

Tramon Williams: Doesn't suck (nice work Tramon)

Joe Porter: Doesn't suck (he came on our show)

Will Blackmon: Doesn't suck (a touchdown machine)

Pat Lee: Sucks (big potential to not suck this season)

Brandon Underwood: Sucks

Jarrett Bush: You SUCK (and you always will)

Safety

Nick Collins: Sucks (you suck Collins)

Atari Bigby: Sucks (sucks but gets hoes)

Anthony Smith: Sucks (no evidence on non-suckage yet)

Aaron Rouse: Sucks (you have to do more than make two big hits)

Charlie Peprah: Sucks (it's Peprah)

 

That is my list as it stands today. If you see a name missing, it is safe to assume, "They suck."

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Fan friendly comments only: off Comments (13) This filter will hide comments which have ratio of 5 to 1 down-vote to up-vote.

longtimefan's picture

LOL

Aaron's picture

That hurt my brain to read...

Alex Tallitsch's picture

That sucks.

Franklin Hillside's picture

Any time Tracy White is referenced, Ted Thompson gets stung by a three hornets. Fact.

MrBacon's picture

You had a good list going Alex... You really did.

Then you put "The Best Special Teams Player" on this list.

This article now not only fails, but sucks because of putting "He who shall not be named" on the list.

Jersey Al's picture

I guess we should be worried about the safety position...

MrBacon's picture

Im surprised Alex went and jinxed on our Safetys, since you know Favre is going to be a Viking. Maybe he was secretly born with a Vikings helmet on his head.

jeremiah's picture

so all our safeties suck, and half our offensive line sucks......man i hope you suck at making this list, and are wrong about some of those guys...

Graham's picture

Good list, respectable.

Ryan Grant does not suck, Brandon Jackson does. You can have that view, however it will change quickly.

Toby Hump's picture

Yes it's true, the unwritten opinion on the Green Bay Packers 2009 season is: we're gonna suck like a skilled hoe with a $50 tip.

Asshalo's picture

Funny for the most part. Except, you're wrong on the fullbacks. QJ hasn't done anything to prove he's better than either Kunn or Hall. Bedard even said he got thrown around like a rag doll during mini camp (of course, AK74 was doing the throwing). Still, you don't hear about that happening to the other two. Not that I'm high on the other too. Here's to hoping is right.

Alex Tallitsch's picture

The suck list is not a working gauge for performance. It is merely how often I find myself saying, "You Suck" while watching the game.

Greg C.'s picture

Here's where I differ:

Mason Crosby--sucks (one of the worst FG kickers in the league last year, and missed two game-winners)
Ryan Grant--doesn't suck
DeShawn Wynn--sucks (always hurt)
Corey Hall--doesn't suck
John Kuhn--doesn't suck
Jason Spitz--doesn't suck
Daryn Colledge--sucks
Nick Collins--doesn't suck
Atari Bigby--doesn't suck (I give him the A.J. Hawk injury exemption)

Considering how long the list is, that's not too many disagreements. I liked your comment about Duke Preston. That one made me laugh.

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