Yes, I’ve been incredibly slack. However, I’ve once again brought the goods.
After the utter victory that thundered from 1265 Lombardi Ave on draft weekend, we Packer fans have been subjected to the lameness that is May. I’ll have words on a certain former quarterback issue when something actually happens, but until then I’m hopping right into this with a history lesson.
Benedict Arnold… was a general for the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War. Arnold led the the Yanks to many victories, and was characterized by his cunning and bravery. He was well on his way to being an immortal American hero, until he switched sides to the British. The reasons for his defection were “frustration, bitterness, assaults on his honor, and extreme case of vaginitis.” His master plan was to gain control over West Point, and surrender it to the British. Fortunately, Ted Thom.. err.. George Washington stopped the schmuck in his tracks and chased his ass up the Hudson River. Ol’ Benedict escaped, but was a non-factor for the King’s army for the rest of the war. He lived out the last ten years of his life in Britain, mired in mediocrity.
Hockey Lesson… Unfortunately, “Versus” is the only channel you can catch it on, but my Carolina Hurricanes are were looking strong until getting violated by Boston on Sunday night. Thankfully, the Canes are still up 3 games to 2, and Scott Walker gave the Aaron Ward the business. Check the clip below for the best right hook of the night.
This may be edited out, but this one’s for Dale…
Nerd Heaven… Yes, I watched Star Trek twice. There’s only one thing that James Tiberius Kirk does better then own Romulans: Bang chicks. Green chicks. I hope Bones has a butt load of VD vaccines.
Mother’s Day… My Mom happily spent her mother’s day talking Packers, watching the aformentioned Star Trek movie, and finishing the afternoon off with playoff hockey/beer. What a hip lady!
Talk about an attention grabber… I was scanning random stories on the interwebs, and this one seemed to pop out for some reason. “Some soldiers from the 85th Brigade sodomised three male pygmies to gain supernatural powers and protection in Kisa village in Walikale territory.” No, this was not a report from the Minnesota National Guard.
I’ve Got Pictures… What Alex’s wedding will look like.
Brett Favre may come back… God dammit, I knew I couldn’t make it through this without speaking of El Padre.
Booze of the week… Leinenkugel Amber. Found it at my local Publix, and couldn’t be happier.
Broad of the week… Diora Baird. The “Green Chick” who gets shellacked by Captain Kirk. I couldn’t find any hot pictures of her in makeup, but I’m sure they’ll be out there soon.
That’s it for now. I’ll be back in six months or so!
Hugs and Kisses,
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