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Packers Mock Draft 2011

Packers Mock Draft 2011

Even though I loathe pre-draft speculation, the truth of the matter is that I'm pretty good at predicting who the Packers are going to take. If I had to guess, my picks over the last three to four years have fallen at about 80-percent.

There are tons of draft sites out there, but rest assured, this is the only mock you really need.

Packers Mock Draft - 2011

Round One

Ted Thompson takes his time on this one but eventually pulls the trigger on a Division 1 college guy. Perfect for the position and a great steal at 32, Packer fans instantly anoint him the next Clay Matthews, Gilbert Brown, Greg Jennings, Reggie White, or Mike Wahle. The newest Packer watches his twitter followers jump by the thousands, and is excited to play for such a "storied franchise, which without the help of God he could have never done."

Over 1000 people instantly make his college picture their avatar.

Round Two

Thompson finally delivers what the fans have always wanted by drafting a fast black guy. Packer people all the way, this kid can really fly and instantly solves all the problems at kick returner, punt returner, 3rd down back, and wildcat formations. This kid is really fast, and could have been a big time name if he hadn't had to struggle to get out of some shady living conditions back home. Packer nation is thrilled.

Aaron Nagler immediately assaults the pick as a bad deal for the Packers. He gets over 100 comments on the post and is very happy.

Round Three

The Packers are thrilled to pick up the big fat white guy in the third round. A potential first-rounder on some boards, an injury and poor performance at the combine really made his stock fall. Already set with starters, the Packers can afford to take a risk on this behemoth, and are willing to gamble that he will be ready by week six.

The big fat guy's facebook page goes nuts, willed with well wishes from Packer fans hoping he "gets well soon because we need you this season."

Cheesehead TV immediately invites him to appear on Packer Transplants. He says yes, but doesn't call.

Round Four

Ted finally does what all Packer fans have been waiting for and selects a guy no one on the planet has ever heard of. Fans rush to youtube only to find one small clip of the newest Packer.

That's all it takes though. This one play is certainly enough to warrant unfettered adoration by fans around the globe. The highlight makes every single Packer blog.

Someone also reports seeing Quinn Johnson and James Starks smiling.

Round Four

It is a little known fact that Ted Thompson doesn't give much weight to the whole Packer people philosophy. This in mind he pulls the trigger on been in trouble a lot but have quite a bit of talent guy. The kid is nothing but trouble, but Packer fans hold forever optimistic. Perhaps Green Bay is exactly what this kid needs right now. It will be a long shot for this guy to make the roster, but he's definitely worth the risk.

Jason Wilde goes on air saying that the kid has a good heart, and he hopes the kid can turn it around. Then he gives a bum his car.

Round Four (compensatory pick)

Ted Thompson shows his dedication by taking the guy from the small school that another Packer played for guy. The star of the University of Central Alcorn - Bethune campus, was voted the best player in the division. The fact that he went to the same school as Greg Donald Collins assures he will be a great player.

Round Five

As happens most of the time, the Packers take this pick and select the guy you hear about for the next week and then only hear from at the end of the year or on another team guy. This is the guy that for some reason no one really cares about and really never makes an impact. He later gets traded to another team and Packer fans think they got a great deal in the end. He doesn't pan out on the other team and Ted Thompson is lauded.

Round Six

It's an easy decision for Ted when the he's got ability but is super raw guy is available this late in the round. A physical specimen, there is no way the Packers could take a pass. He's a project for sure, but with the success of similar players like Breno Giacomini and Allen Barbre, it's really a no-brainer.

Round Seven (from Carolina)

While only the die-hards are still paying attention, Ted Thompson grabs the next Matt Flynn guy. Shortly thereafter the Tom Brady and Donald Driver talk begins. Somehow, the whole discussions ends up at Brett Favre not being a first round pick.

He becomes the newest rookie to appear on Packer Transplants.

Round Seven

Nearly irrelevant, the Packers draft the I'm on the bottom of the depth chart at a stacked position but hopefully I can get some reps in camp and make the practice squad guy. The entire world knows this guy doesn't stand a chance of making the 53 unless half the team goes down with injury. However, he talks to people on Twitter and forms a large cult following.

Post-Draft

Packer fans flood the internet with analysis of the latest draft despite the fact that none of these guys have ever taken a single NFL snap. Three to four current Packers lose their jobs in the minds of fans before training camp even starts. Mock draft analysis' also come out. Every single one was wrong.

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Fan friendly comments only: off Comments (12) This filter will hide comments which have ratio of 5 to 1 down-vote to up-vote.

Doug's picture

Best. Mock. Ever.

JohnRehor's picture

The mock draft guaranteed to be most accurate

Wiscokid's picture

Absolutely nailed it.

Afrenchpackerfan's picture

I am buying every part of this mock draft but the seventh round: "The entire world knows this guy doesn’t stand a chance of making the 53 unless half the team goes down with injury"... considering the fact that Brad Jones, Matt Flynn, CJ Wilson, Brett Swain, Scott Wells, Mark Tauscher and Donald Driver have all been drafted in the 7th round...

There is something special with the 7th round... it is like a round where nobody expects you to do a (good) career, therefore relieving you from all kind of pressure. It is way better than 5th or 6th round!

PackersRS's picture

Nailed it.
/waits confidently for it to materialize
//waits with even more antecipation on Nagler's rant on round 2 prospect
///dresses as bum near where Wilde works

Just one thing, though. There's one extra 4th rounder in there. We only have 2 4th round picks, not 3.

asshalo's picture

"Thompson finally delivers what the fans have always wanted by drafting a fast black guy."

Absolutely hilarious and so true. Great meta-commentary on the lazy thinking that underlies draft analysis.

missannielynn's picture

This is the only mock I can trust. Thank you Alex.

Ryeguy812's picture

And every Packer fan on Twitter rates the Packers draft as a B with the potential to become an A "if (Insert name of guy drafted late) pans out"

TPackers's picture

I loved it.

pittpackers's picture

Well done. I actually found myself laughing out loud, though I refuse to use the acronym. Thanks, alex!

Sven's picture

This has to be the closest thing Ted Thompson's version of a play card.....

foundinidaho's picture

And I thought I was cynical. ;)

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