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Dumbass

Dumbass

 

Never afraid to test the boundaries of blogging ethics, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly call out the 38th President of the United States.

Yes, you heard me correctly. Gerald Ford screwed the Pack.

He actually turned down an offer to play football for the Green and Gold.

 

Now personally, I can’t ever imagine a situation in where pursuing the United States Presidency would be more important than playing for the Packers. Ford may have had his reasons for choosing politics, but it’s still not a good enough excuse give him a pass on this one.

Why can’t I let him off the hook?

The guy would have been good.

 

Let’s check out some of Ford’s incredible attributes and accomplishments.

“Ford granted ‘a full, free and absolute pardon’ to former President Richard Nixon for all offenses against the United States’."

We have been talking about ‘Packer People’ all week now, and Gerald Ford would have been undoubtedly just that. He would have understood that players and management are far from perfect and most certainly would not have held a grudge without warrant.

“Ford refused to lend federal funds to financially strapped New York City until the city raised taxes and cut spending.”

Much like us Packer fans, Ford obviously knew that it was irresponsible for New York to be spending obscene amounts of money on worthless goods. He, incontestably, was a man of great intelligence much like Ted Thompson.

“Ford escaped two assassination attempts within 17 days in September 1975, both by women.”

Okay, when I read this it says, “Got multiple chicks on multiple weeks and scrambled out of the pocket with the best of them.”

“Ford attained the rank of Eagle Scout.”

Able to improvise in pinch, and survive the worst of situations, Gerald Ford’s ability to adapt to a broken play could have been second to none. One could also file this under ‘Packer People’.

“He was once a model and a park ranger.”

Who doesn’t like good looking guys with that Grizzly Adams’ mustached look? I know I do.

“Ford was right-handed but wrote with his left hand.”

I can just hear it. Ford takes the snap and rolls out. He’s feeling the pressure as the defensive tackle bears down. The behemoth lunges at Ford looking to strip the ball from his out stretched left hand. Ford nimbly switches the football to his right hand, and on his way to the ground heaves it cross-field right to Max McGee for the touchdown.

Whoa.

"Ford is the longest-lived president at age 93.”

Can you say consecutive start streaks not really that big of deal? Boy that would have been golden.

Thanks a whole bunch President Ford.

Not play for the Packers? What a dumbass.

 

(Insert disclaimer, apologies, and link to definition of sarcasm here)

 

Special thanks to my Twitter friend Wamzlee.

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Pro's picture

1 Comment: LOL

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