I don’t know if you know this or not, but a lot of $hit is going down in Wisconsin this weekend.
Nebraska comes to town for its first Big Ten game in a matchup of two top ten teams, the Brewers are HOSTING a playoff series, and the Packers will try to contain the Man, the myth, the….um…wide receiver… that is Tim Tebow.
Wow, I got a contact high just typing all that!
So, what really needs to happen is 1. Planning and 2. Drinking.
Planning: Saturday, I got that. Brewers game, perhaps wear that red and white Untuckem shirt that Alex Tallitsch threw at me as I arrived in Dallas last January; cover both my bases. Sunday though, that’s a little more complicated. Packers are my first love, my most true love; we’re joined at the hip. But I fear that the world will collapse if I am not following the Brewers game.
I was born in the summer of 1982. Obviously, despite my genius IQ level, I do not remember the 1982 Brewers season. When I was three months old, apparently I developed colic. I also apparently developed the ability to control baseball games. When I was happy and not screaming my head off, the Brewers won. (you’re welcome for game one, BY THE WAY!!). However, apparently I was less accommodating for games 6 and 7. (Oops! My bad!). I have spent nearly my entire 30 years on this planet knowing that it is up to me, solely me, to right this wrong. So I can’t ignore their playoff games, and G-d help me, I CAN NOT cry! (if you know me, I really do cry a lot, it’s the girl/thyroid problem/ex-acting major/emo thing I have so carefully crafted into my persona). So somehow I have to find a way to get both games and the CHTV chat running in my room. I’m not sure how this is happening, but its happening.
Drinking: This one is a lot less complicated to figure out. Only drinking alcohol that comes from the great state of Wisconsin. Sorry Corona and Newcastle, you’re going to have to wait. I’m also thinking the High Life is really the only way to go. I then thought “champagne of beer” in my head, and now the song Champagne Supernova is stuck in my head. I’m already having trouble focusing.
Somehow in the mix of all of this though the Packers game versus Denver has been moved to the back burner. Now now, before you write in, I’m not forgetting it, in my heart it’s still the most important, but with some much going on, there’s only so much room on the front of the stove. If the Packers were playing someone besides Denver, this might not be the case. But come on, it’s Denver, at Lambeau…really?
How did that happen? Remember when Denver was good? Is John Elway the new Michael Jordon? He caused heartache for my team, and then years later went to the front office and the team stunk up the place! The thing is, I have to admit, I haven’t seen the Broncos play. Except for when the red zone channel flipped over to the Broncos fans cheering like they won the super bowl when Timmy ran out on to the field only to line up in the slot. As I’m typing this, the Tebow-ites (new nick name, spread the word) have just put up their first billboard in the Denver area! After knowing this, I don’t need to see them play to know they have issues. Their quarterbacks are three of my least favorite people: Orton, Quinn and Timmy. Really? Maybe they should look into Brohm next.
So here are my thoughts: The Packers will win, obviously. The Badgers will win; I really dislike Corn. And the Brewers will win their opening game; we’ll see about Sunday.
So this weekend, no matter which sport/team is your cup of tea, follow it with a beer. Live it up. It’s Bender Weekend. And make sure to tune in for next week’s edition of drinking games, which will probably be titled, “My Head Hurts”.
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