Do you smell what the BACON is cooking? I doubt you can, I DOUBT YOU CAN!
The Packers have finally chosen their fresh fish from the market for their annual boot camp this year before sending the boys out to battle. There is new blood in the water as always, and I’ll get to some of the filet’s that I like. First things first though… I must talk about Jeremy.
Jeremy Thompson’s football career is officially dead. Life is not fair sometimes. Be it the prick in the other cubicle getting the promotion, or the time you were driving down the highway and some crazy woman decided to slam the brakes for no reason at all. In Jeremy’s case, it was a neck injury.
This time, an innocent hit in practice by Kregg Lumpkin was all it took to turn the carriage back into a pumpkin. Sadly, Jeremy will not be the last to suffer a injury like this, but in hindsight, it was best he made this move. He’s lucky he can walk.
If I was in Jeremy’s corner giving him advice, I would say this:
“Jeremy if you love football so much, here are a couple of things you can do.”
Take the Bob Uecker Route:
Go into broadcasting. Joe Buck sucks worse than Bus… I mean Ahmad Carroll.
Take the Herm Edwards Route:
Go into coaching by going back to Wake Forrest as a assistant or your high school. Get to the NFL and learn how to videotape other teams to win rings.
Take the Ted Thompson Route:
Be like Teddy, and learn to become a GM. People shit on Thompson a lot when he dumped Favre. Did you know Thompson gets the best seat in the house as he sits on his ass and watches the game in a heated suite.
Become a Ref:
Okay, maybe not, but your still on the field.
Use Your Diploma
You went to college for something I hope.
Jeremy best of luck.
Onto the rookies…
Brian Broh… I MEAN BULAGA! The Whale! He is a big boy, and even Steve Young said he resembles a Packer. More importantly, Rodgers can now do what he does best… run out of the pocket and throw. A move which Favre tried to copy and screwed up badly in the championship game. I hope Bulaga does well or Rodgers will be a midget by the time his career is over.
James Tony “Iron Man” Starks. He has that grin, the same grin Gregory Jennings has. Not to mention he comes from a small school, just like Greg. I’ll go as far as to say he becomes Greg Jennings 2.0. You know who else dropped in the draft because of injury? Drew Brees.
Tracy Morgan Burnett. First, he slightly resembles a certain Fitzgerald. He also fills our most important position on the field. The Dreadlock. Seriously though, he is a nice safety with soft hands. The only person on the squad who is worried is Atari Bigby, as he needs his job to retain his ho’s.
I am sure the others Thompson took a flyer on will do well. Jermichael Finley should not worry about Quarless, as two TE’s are better than one, just ask any Guido on South Beach during spring break.
YA FEELS ME ?
Finally, a big congrats to Garrett Graham from Wisconsin as he heads to Texas. Yes, another Wisconsin alum is going to Houston to play TE. There is a bit of a “huh?”, as it so happens that Owen Daniels, another Wisconsin alum and TE just went there last season. Daniels then ripped out his ACL last year like every one does these days, and now it looks like Owen may be on the way out as contract talks heat up.
In the wacky world of sports, a Wisconsin TE is replacing another Wisconsin TE.
To quote a random user on a Texan’s board:
“That’s pretty cold to take another Wisconsin TE. Like dumping a girl and then going out with her younger sister.”
That will do it for today folks. It has been a great pleasure watching all the mock drafts to see where everyone might land. Now comes the hardest test for all of us… the summer grind when we get the OTA’s and mini-camp. Thompson might bring in a free-agent or two but I doubt it. The only thing I pray is that no one tears up their knee. Not even Jarrett Bush.
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