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Church of Kampman

Church of Kampman

kampmanwave

 

There’s a very good chance I am killed (or tackled to the ground) for spilling the beans on the secret brotherhood known as “The Church of Kampman.”

 

 

 

Mike McCarthy let it slip this past weekend during a press conference.

 

The secret is out.

The secret is out.

Kampman leading the Mass. But this isn’t a Catholic Mass or any other denomination you’ve heard of. No, Aaron was leading Mass for the Church of Kampman.

There isn’t much known about the church but I will share with you what I have gathered over the years.

To be initiated into the brotherhood, Aaron Kampman himself must bless you by tackling you and driving you into the ground.

Kampman blesses Charlie Frye

Kampman blesses Charlie Frye

Supposedly every off the field incident involving offensive players getting into fights or shootouts have been battles waged on by the Church of Kampman.

Plaxico Burress did NOT shoot himself in the leg. Come on, how stupid would someone have to be to do that? The truth is the Church retaliated against him for making Al Harris look like a fool in the conference championship in 2008. So when you hear about a running back having an “accident” you can rest assured – it was the Church.

Rumors flew years ago that the church of Scientology threatened to sue the church of Kampman and Aaron Kampman personally beat the crap out every alien worshipping nutjob in the building.

The church meets 74 days out of the year.

Instead of referring to the year as 2009 A.D. they refer to it as 2009 A.K.

On May 3rd, 2009 A.K. the Church added two new members, Clay Matthews III and B.J. Raji.

Welcome aboard.

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Comments (8)

MrBacon's picture

Personally, Kampman's position change in a hybrid DE/OLB is no big deal, because Kampman is a hardworker who makes the most of what he is given. I think the topic is overblown like Cutler in Chicago... who still sucks.

Toby Hump's picture

KAMPMAN BE PRAISED!!!

HALLELUJAH!!

Packnic's picture

long live xenu!

Jersey Al's picture

I don't get the joke...

Asshalo's picture

the pic and kicker are pretty damn funny. But, surprised you didn't bring up a little nugget about Mike McCarthy's comment on why he thinks Kampmann will do better in the 3-4. 32.5 of his 37 sacks in the past three seasons have all come in formations where his role is almost identical to his role the 3-4. Only 3.5 have come in the base 4-3. Goods news for the church of kampmann

Paul's picture

Damn Dale why'd you ban me, that wasn't actually Elmo I was just fucking with ya.

Dale Z's picture

I don't play games! But apparently you do. I'll see what I can do.

PackersRS's picture

Just one question about this: followers of Greg Jennings are allowed to pray for Kampman, and vice versa? Kampman is kind of invading His space, so... I mean, there can be only one God, and that's Gregory Jennings...

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