The Vikings: As Dumb As Their Coach

I’ve made no secret about my disdain for Brad “Major Dad” Childress. (Thanks Brats & Beer Guy) The guy took the Vikings job without even interviewing with Ted Thompson and then disparaged Packer fans and the Packer organization. He’s a meely-mouthed fool who likes to try to act tough (anyone remember his ridiculous back and forth about how tough he was with Belichick?) but is, in fact, a complete idiot who spent the first year of his tenure in Minnesota screaming at his offensive linemen on the sidelines. The only reason the man still has a job is because Adrian Peterson fell into his lap.

Other than the occasional crack-smoker over at Packergeeks, no one really thinks they have a quarterback, which the Vikings moved up into the second round to get, even though everyone on Earth thought he would be a second day pick. Now that’s value! Is there any area where this team isn’t completely inept? Oh, that’s right. Run defense. That’s it. That’s what they can do - defend the run. Now if they can just talk to the NFL about scheduling the Ravens every week, they may actually make the playoffs.

Am I ranting? Sorry, but this incredibly insulting article by Michael Silver has really got under my skin this morning. I saw the headline yesterday and knew I should avoid reading it so as not to cause this outburst. But I could only stop myself for so long.

It is often said that a team takes on the personality of its coach, which seems to be the case here, because the Viking players are publicly showing how idiotic they and their organization truly are. Take this gem from defensive tackle Pat Williams:

They had a nice year last year, but they don’t understand that Brett made those guys better than they were…He has the game all figured out, and you’ve got to factor all that into the equation. Brett Favre would throw the ball when the receivers hadn’t even made their cut yet, and it would be there waiting for them. Those guys had it good. People think it’s the system, but it ain’t no damn system. Brett Favre just knows where his guys are going to be at all times, and I don’t think Aaron Rodgers has got that yet.

This is hilarious on so many levels, I don’t even know where to start. Perhaps I’ll just point out to Mr. Williams that throwing the ball before a receiver makes a cut is how a professional quarterback plays the game, not just Brett Favre. I realize having had to watch Tarvaris Jackson the last few years, Williams may have forgotten this, but no - really - that’s the way the grown ups do it.

We’re also treated to this gem from the Vikings crown jewel of off-season acquisitions, Mr. D.U.I. himself, Jared Allen:

Hopefully, I can put my helmet square in the back of his spine. If I can do that and knock the ball loose, it’ll be a good day

Stay classy Minnesota.

Seriously, Jared, here’s a newsflash. Do you remember last season, when you played in Kansas City? Remember how the Packers came to town? Oh, that’s right, you may have blocked it from your memory because Chad Clifton made you look like a little girl. Big Bad Chwad Cwiffton…what, are you going to cry Jared? Awww…big ol’ mean Cwifton was too good a pwayer for you to beat…awwww. You had to switch inside and line up against Daryn Colledge, didn’t you? That’s right you drunk driving, mullet-sporting buffoon. You led the league in sacks last year, but Chad Clifton owns you. Welcome to Lambeau, you girl.

Obviously, I could go on. Suffice to say, I can not WAIT for September 8th…

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