So if I'm a tad groggy today, blame my son for eating a half-cooked hamburger and then spending all last night being ill. Or blame me for buying him said burger on the assumption that it might be fully cooked.
Either way I'm home today and after catching up on the sleep which eluded me last night, I figured it was time to crank out this week's Press Box.
I will not be spending this whole column hacking on Mr. Nagler for his ill-fate bet with me re: The DenverBroncos.
No, sadly we have to start with serious news and try to recover our good humor from there.
EVEN TRAVIS HENRY THINKS SAM HURD WENT TOO FAR
Last night, former Dallas Cowboy and current Chicago bear wide receiver Sam Hurd was arrested on a charge of attempting to buy drugs with the intent to distribute from a supplier in North Texas.
How many drugs did he try to buy from an undercover cop?
Hurd wanted up to 10 kilograms of cocaine and a half ton of marijuana per week.
That's a staggering amount of drugs. Staggering.No wonder he couldn't catch the ball—he was either so coked up he he was accidentally vibrating through a catch like the Flash or he was so stoned to come down off the coke high that he hallucinated the ball was a rabid piranha ready to eat his hands.
Either he has a tremendous drug problem or he was going to sell that. I'm surprised the undercover cop didn't start whooping and hollering like he/she had just hit the Million Dollar Jackpot at the MGM Grand.
Worse? Yes it does get worse by the way. These things always do.
Reports are that Hurd sold to other players (yipes), the police have a list of their names (ACK) and the number of names is in the double digits (HOLY TEBOW, MY HEART, IT'S THE BIG ONE ELIZABETH).
The parentheticals reflect my take on what NFL Commisioner Roger Goodell did when reading about this.
Please, dear lord baby Jesus, just tell me there are no Packers on this, apparently double digit, list of NFL players Sam Hurd sold drugs to.
Feel free to insert your favorite team there. This is big and a huge mess. No kidding right? Consider how big it could be, depending on what names are on the list. You figure that no way are there big names on that list but people who are addicted to drugs do incredibly stupid things.
I can only hope there aren't too many big shocks on that list.The NFL is a juggernaut be we saw how steroids ruined baseball. Sure, this isn't steroids or a competitive balance thing. The repercussions could be plenty big, as could the PR hit.
We're a funny country about drug use. When a famous name gets caught doing them we like to act all shocked and outraged as if they'd shot a puppy with a kitten fired out of a cannon made from babies. Many, many people smoke pot. Many more drink alcohol and beer. Sure one is legal and the other not (in most states) but it's like a scarlet letter beyond almost anything else. We seem to be able to forgive so much but drug use gets touchy. Selling drugs? Even worse.
I'm not saying it isn't a big deal. It is. It's a huge deal, especially in the amounts described. (Seriously, 10 kilograms of cocaine and a half ton of marijuana PER WEEK)
I'm just saying when it comes to drugs, people have a tremendous time shaking their pitchforks and lighting torches. Enough of a good time to breach the goodwill the NFL has? Depends on the reaction by the league, teams and players.
Speaking of players, here's one thought for the NFLPA. This is why the HGH testing needs to be on the top of your 'to do' list. The more you drag your feet—even justified—the more it looks like you are protecting people. Not in a 'we want it to be fair' way but in a 'we know they're cheating but they're OUR cheaters'.
Find a way to get it started before we have a story break about a big player on HGH or worse, distributing it to other players and you have to do it anyway.
CONCUSSION TEST? I DON'T....NEED...NO....WHERE AM I AGAIN?
I talked about this at length on the Hard Count this week but the league needs to do something about the method to testing concussions.
This JPEG from KissingSuzyKolber.com is funny but also disturbing, because I could see that conversation happening.
Even just looking at the picture makes me ill. The Browns expect me to believe that a) the team physicians had no clue McCoy got rung up like a cash register and b) he passed a concussion test or didn't need one.
They were on the field. The picture CLEARLY shows them on the field. look at McCoy's eyes. Sure, it's a picture and there is a lot we don't know but is it me or does Colt look loopy? To me, he definitely looks like someone who had his bell rung.
He was taken off the field. What, did the team docs say 'how come he needs to come off?' and a player/coach said 'oh he fell down'? You mean to tell me NOBODY said 'oh he ran into a Harrison powered steam engine?' 'He got hit in the jaw?'
Players want to be on the field (illustrated and reinforced by this excellent piece by Mike Freeman). They will, even when it's flat out stupid, lie to get on the field. Teams WANT them on the field.
Do YOU see a conflict of interest here?
Independent doctors whose job is with the NFL , who cannot be fired or run out of town because they forced a player to submit to a test. To ignore a coaches 'rub some dirt on it' mentality and sit a player.
It won't be a pretty job. You will probably be liked about as much as an Internal Affairs cop.
That's what's needed though. It's what the NFL, players and teams need whether they like it or not.
It was unconscionable McCoy went back in and worse that everyone blamed him for an interception which, let's be honest, he likely doesn't remember throwing. Let's never see that again.
Everybody Hates Chris (Collinsworth)
Forget the 'Hurd List' of cocaine buying, pot smoking players. I want the names of the 237 players allegedly polled by Sports Illustrated to compile a list of the worst TV commentators covering the NFL and have Mike Mayock ON the list, forget ahead of Joe Buck, Mike Irvin and Joe Theisman.
I want names, dates and addresses.
Seriously, even if you don't have the mancrush on Mayock that I do, that's ridiculous. On his best day, Joe Buck couldn't carry Mayock's microphone. Nor could Irvin or Gruden or Collinsworth or any of the other names on the list.
Lists like this are amusing, sure and never to be taken seriously. Still, Mike Mayock is one of the best things to happen to football play by play maybe ever.
Next time you get the chance, listen to how he breaks a play down. It's not the surface crap that you get from 99% of the play by play and color guys in the league. It's rarely filling the air chit chat. He doesn't talk down to you, he assumes you have a brain and talks to you.
He's critical, and maybe that's what the alleged players dislike.
It's too bad they don't like him. If they listened, some of them might learn something.
So that's that.
A whole column and nary a mention of my victory over Nagler!
Well..... maybe one more.
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