An Open Letter To Skip Bayless (And Desperate Attention Whores Like Him)

We're on to you, Skip. It no longer works. Your shtick is as tired and old as you are. You've worked hard to become inconsequential. Congratulations on making it.

Dear Skip,

It's over.

I mean, over. You can't possibly look at a camera or a microphone with a straight face and truly believe you're being taken seriously anymore. Your latest (in a long line of) attacks on Aaron Rodgers were the most transparent "poking of the beehive" shticks I've ever seen.

Aaron Rodgers shouldn't throw the fake spike pass, in the same home stadium as the Hall of Fame quarterback that originated the play, because it was...what? "High-risk"? "Dumb"? "Risky"?

Oh, that's right: "Tom Brady wouldn't have to resort to plays like that."

Look, if you think that this is some sort of chest-beating championing of Aaron Rodgers in the face of criticism from an outside source, you couldn't be further from the truth, although that's the reaction Bayless relies on for job security. You can Google "Skip Bayless" and the name of any other NFL team and find some commeent he made that seems intentionally designed to provoke outrage.

Actually, I take that back. You won't find much for "Skip Bayless" and the "Buffalo Bills". That's because noboby cares about the Buffalo Bills, least of all, their actual fans. One of Bayless's pulled-out-his-arse sweeping generalizations would not only have landed of unconcerned ears, it probably would have been agreed with.

But the Packers? Redskins? Giants? 49ers? Chiefs? Any team with a fervent fanbase gets the Bayless treatment, a Pavlovian response to criticism designed to provoke reponse and drive clicks and mentions. I debated long and hard before even writing this piece today, just not to fall into the usual pattern that he seeks.

But, you see, among those of us in the Packer blogosphere, I don't mind criticism of Aaron Rodgers, clearly our most precious commodity and the man we've been trained to circle the wagons around reflexively since 2007. I believe that nobody is above criticism, and have delivered it to Rodgers myself when he's earned it, including earlier this season when he was taking unnecessary sacks and seemed to have lost a little off his usual accuracy.

That's what I like to believe a journalist does...you know, a real journalist. You acknowledge all the good and offer the bad when it is needed or deserved.

You see...you, and others of his ilk, aren't real journalists. You're entertainers. You're looking for headlines. In the hypercompetitive world in which sites like CheeseheaadTV offer daily, free content, the paid journalists have become paid pot-stirrers, especially at places like ESPN which have edged closer and closer to tthe likes of TMZ then their original roots in sports programming.

What gives you away isn't going back to the well with your criticism of the target you know will provoke a reaction, as you've done with Rodgers many times over the years. What gives it away was the lame comparison to Tom Brady.

Ton Brady? You mean the guy Boston was ready to turn on just a few weeks ago after a slow start? Rememer the whispers of being "too old" and "washed up" and "hitting the wall"? Would you have used Tom Brady back in September as your measuring stick?

There's the reveal, Skip. You keep changing your "guy" to compare Aaron Rodgers to. You'll never lose your argument because whomever you choose will be the guy who is better, at least in your mind, at the time. 

But wait a minute, Skippy. Who was the guy you kept comparing Rodgers to all those years ago? Remember? "Aaron Rodgers can't finish a game as well as...." Fill in the blank, Skip. Who was the greatest quarterback in the league, the guy who was going to be better than Rodgers, the guy you'd rather have leading your team?

Tim Tebow.

Remember?

Where's Tebow now, Skip? How many Lombardi Trophies has he won, Skip? How many MVP awards has he won, Skip? Is he creeping up on Peyton Manning's NFL record for fourth quarter comebacks yet?

Where's your boy, Skip?

The naive belief that somehow no one has a memory longer than a goldfish is what makes your attempts to stir the pot so obvious. Who will be Rodgers' measuring stick three years from now? Russell Wilson? Andrew Luck? Sure, there will always be someone better than Rodgers, someone who is doing it better at that moment. Since Brady has turned his season around, I guess he's the "new and improved Tebow", eh?

[snicker]

So, Mr. Bayless...I'm going to finish this piece with a little criticism of my own. Of you.

This is the last time I am ever going to waste blog space, Twitter space, or any kind of space in your name. 

You aren't "controversial" or a "lightning rod" in the vast world of sports journalism. You're a tired old man, trying desperately to keep up with the younger, smarter kids coming up who've mastered the art of the gentle jab, how to make yourself part of the story-telling without being a part of the story.

You don't criticize Rodgers to offer any real critique or offer any intellgience or analysis of his play. It's not even a vendetta, as the perception of "Bayless hates Rodgers" would at least give you the gratuity of having some sort of intelligence.

You have just learned, like any Pavlovian animal involved a bell-ringing/drooling experiment, that you say "Rodgers" and people react. It doesn't matter what you say, or who you compare him to, or what he actually does. You've just learned that you always get a reaction.

And like the dog, we've trained you as much as you've trained us. Sure, you ring the bell ("Rodgers can't win a game like Tebow") and we respond ([wailing and gnashing of teeth]). But you've grown into a sad victim of your own training, the poor scientist who is trapped by his own experiment. When ESPN suggests it might be time for a change of personnel, you go to the well, offer criticism of one of your usual suspects, and point to how much controversy you raise.

I'm done. I'm done with you, and hope that ESPN is done with you, too. Not because you criticized Aaron Rodgers, but because you criticize anyone for the purpose of advancing your own job security. You are the worst example of what has happened to journalism, and when I meet up with many of the people who struggle to establish themselves in the field as legitimate writers with the principles we should expect from our journalists, I beg them to hold tight to those ethics.

Don't end up like Bayless.

You're replacable, buddy. Rabble-rousers are a dime-a-dozen in today's "entertainment sports journalism" field. You don't give us the news. You don't provide an analysis. You don't tell a story.

You just sit there and go to the well, praying you can hang on to your job for another year. And ESPN should be ashamed they keep clowns like you on their roster.

I really didn't know that you had made these comments earlier in the week. I stopped following you on Twitter years ago. You are a non-entity to me. I have to wait for someone else to point out you might have said something.

And then, I have to decide if I care.

And I don't.

And I send this message out to every Packer fan, and every NFL fan, and every ESPN fan: do the same. Unfollow Bayless. Stop reacting to him. He is only trying to provoke a reaction, and the only way anyone will listen at ESPN is by ignoring him.

He's already made himself irrelevant.

It's time for us to stop drooling every time the bell is rung and act like it.

 

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Comments (20)

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Koostyroosty's picture

October 19, 2014 at 10:00 am

I've never watched him. I don't care what he thinks. His own peers don't take him seriously. He and others like him are why I do not watch anything on ESPN, except maybe a highlight or two I might have missed elsewhere. Talk about being irrelevant, he is the definition as far as I an concerned. GO PACK GO!

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NickPerry's picture

October 19, 2014 at 10:42 am

This is spot on. Skip Bayless is the Howard Stern of early morning sports talk shows, except unlike Stern, Bayless sucks! He's a "Shock Jock", nothing more, nothing less. Living in Los Angeles I watch or listen to Mike & Mike every morning before leaving for the office. About 6:57 AM every morning I turn the channel before First Take comes on. I can't stand his smug, arrogant, pathetic mug, and that was before the assnine comments of Rodgers years ago. Bayless has a issue with Rodgers because he told the world who his audience was, 3rd shifters waiting to fall asleep after working all night and unemployed. Skip Bayless SHOULD work for TMZ, though he may not qualify for that either. Soon you'll be where Tebow is Skippy, unemployed!

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jeremyjjbrown's picture

October 19, 2014 at 06:14 pm

Howard Stern doesn't expect what he does to be taken seriously. Apparently Bayless does...

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HankScorpio's picture

October 20, 2014 at 06:47 am

"Bayless has a issue with Rodgers because ..."

I'm not so sure he does have an issue with Rodgers. It seem to me that Bayless' only issue is how he can continue to draw a paycheck. There is not much market for broken-down reporters turned commentators with reasonable, defensible positions. Especially not well-paying ones. So he panders to a large segment of the internet which is in perpetual search for something to be outraged over.

The checks will stop when the outrage does. Which simultaneously makes this opinion piece both spot on and feeding the beast. It's a Catch-22.

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Lphill's picture

October 19, 2014 at 03:23 pm

maybe skip and COW are the same person.

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lucky953's picture

October 19, 2014 at 04:09 pm

Most people want to be liked and get along with their fellow human beings. There are a few who make a living upsetting other people. You're exactly right CD. the only reasonable thing to do is ignore the turds in the toilet.

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TKWorldWide's picture

October 19, 2014 at 05:45 pm

Hi Skip,
You a dumb ho.
Sincerely,
America

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TKWorldWide's picture

October 19, 2014 at 05:46 pm

"Skip" is what we do when it comes to reading or listening to your "work".

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4thand1's picture

October 20, 2014 at 12:57 am

After reading this great piece, I'm sure cow is skip. skip cowless should be gone in a few weeks.

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Packatron's picture

October 20, 2014 at 12:03 pm

Nothing on the four-letter is worth watching anymore, especially Skippy. The entire network is filled with smug, pathetic, self-promoting "personalities" that are just as bad as most of the pro athletes they cover.

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Ross Uglem's picture

January 19, 2017 at 07:35 am

Skip not on ESPN

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zerotolerance's picture

October 20, 2014 at 04:19 pm

Everyone should do what I have done - stop watching ESPN.

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DD-393's picture

October 20, 2014 at 07:25 pm

Skip Bayless is a second rate writer and third rate face who, rather than reporting the news, tries to create controversy and draws attention to himself. He's not any kind of reporter.

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LASVEGAS-TOM's picture

October 20, 2014 at 07:35 pm

I don't know who the Asshole is, & don't care. The guy's a complete Buffoon. Nothing more to be said. LVT

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dobber's picture

January 19, 2017 at 07:50 am

The quality of the commentator is inversely proportional to the volume level he/she requires to get their point across. No one yells more than Skip Bayless.

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lou's picture

October 20, 2014 at 08:23 pm

Skip is the "Eddie Haskell" of sportscasters. Remember growing up there was always a kid in the neighborhood nobody liked and he wouldn't shut up but if you hit him your mother and the other mothers would raise hell with you ? Enough said.

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Spiderpack's picture

October 21, 2014 at 09:14 pm

Thanks CD. Now would you write one for Mike Florio?!?? He is a dick. With authentic dickness he twists and perverts players and team situations on his website, and what's worse is that he is seen and portrayed as an authority by the NFL and the networks. Bayless is an idiot, Florio is a dick, an asshole.

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johnnyd17's picture

October 22, 2014 at 09:10 am

Troy Aikman, even though a former cowboy, also no skip limbaugh fan...i mean, skip lepetomiane

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Chad Lundberg's picture

October 23, 2014 at 04:29 am

Skip Brainless isn't just a A-hole, he's a special kind of A-hole. Someone who believes his own lies to draw attention to himself. Truly, he is the face of the decline of sports journalism, even though he's hardly a journalist at all. ESPN and the rest of all sports networks would be better off without him or anyone like him.

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zeefly's picture

November 02, 2014 at 05:22 pm

Yeah, Brady doesn't resort to those kinds of ploys, Brady just flops two seconds after an innocent chest bump four days later against the Jets.

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